What I'm Seeing Now

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Deviate Yer Downspout!

Hi folks!  It's been a while!

Your friend Billy Jays here!

You know, a mind expanded by a new idea can never return to its original dimension! 

I find that is so true when I introduce a new product to the market.  People everywhere have their minds expanded!  My new products always create new dimensions and new paradigms!

And today is no different!  I am so excited to bring this product to the market, I can hardly control myself!

Sure, you drive through neighborhoods and look at all the houses as you pass by.  And you notice how boringly similar they all are!  Squares and rectangles, straight and true, level and plumb - well, as I said, BOOORRRRING!

And at every corner what do you see?  A downspout connected to gutters!  Gutters that are straight and level!  Downspouts that are attached and plumb!  Aren't you tired with the embarrassment of being like everyone else?  Well, I know I am!

This is to introduce Deviate Yer Downspout!

No more will you feel the embarrassment of being like everyone else in the neighborhood!

But wait!

Deviate Yer Downspout! is more than you think!

Sure, you think you're only looking at a downspout, cleverly angled and deviated, that discharges far away from that foundation!

And you know how those pesky home inspectors are always trying to tell you that downspouts need to drain further from the house!

With Deviate Yer Downspout! that home inspector problem is solved!

But Deviate Yer Downspout! is so much more!

See those two AC compressors?  Well, they aren't compressors at all!

Along with your new Deviate Yer Downspout! will come two AC compressors that you blow up like an air mattress!  Yep, now you can blow up!

When your box comes, simply unroll the detailed AC compressors, open the valve and blow away!  Sooner than later you will have two new AC compressors!

Then, and here is the new dimension and paradigm bursting through, you simply set them on the side of the house, glue on the faux tubing, and decoratively Deviate Yer Downspout! between them!  Then you can sit back and watch your neighbors' eyes bulge!

Isn't that one impressive sight!?

Now, you say, "But Billy, I already have a couple of AC compressors.  Why would I want two more, even if they are only filled with air?"

I'm glad you asked that question!  Your neighbors will notice the two new compressors as well!  Then, when you are asked about them, you can casually say, "I have a new "special" AC system, very new age!  It requires more compressors!"

So there you go!  When I said a mind stretched to a new dimension, I meant it!  And now that you have seen Deviate Yer Downspout! your mind will never return to its original size!

YOU CAN THANK ME NOW!

AND YOU CAN ORDER NOW!

Simply call, and one of our phone specialists, highly trained in, um, compression deviation, will be happy to fill your order!  The number?  1-800-DEV-IATE !!  Of course!

Call now!

And if you call now, because I can't make this offer all day, we will promise that you will get your order in time for the holiday!

"Oh, Billy," you say, "which holiday?"  Well, there's one nearly every month!  It will come in time for one of them!  See how I got you covered!?

SO CALL NOW!

And as always, if you do call now, you will also get a box of our fictive and famously fresh LOTSA NUTS!

When you feel like a snack, eat LOTSA NUTS!, because you are what you eat!

Remember folks, with Deviate Yer Downspout! you not only get a new downspout to deviate, but two blow-up AC compressors and two faux AC tubes to help you with that new demented dimension of downspout deviation!

So, Deviate Yer Downspout!  Now!

This is your old friend, Billy Jays, signing off!

And you know me, the best advice I can give is  CALL NOW!

 

 

Jay Markanich Real Estate Inspections, LLC  

Based in Bristow, serving all of Northern Virginia.

Office (703) 330-6388   Cell (703) 585-7560

www.jaymarinspect.com


Comment balloon 42 commentsJay Markanich • December 19 2013 03:14AM

Comments

LOL, Billy.  Very creative. You may have tapped into a new marketing segment.

Posted by Debbie Gartner, The Flooring Girl & Blog Stylist -Dynamo Marketers (The Flooring Girl) over 4 years ago

Thanks At My Door Cousin, but Billy Jays created his own market segment long ago!

Posted by Jay Markanich, Home Inspector - servicing all Northern Virginia (Jay Markanich Real Estate Inspections, LLC) over 4 years ago

As usual I'm a day late and a dollar short.  Wish I could have thought about it (sigh)

Posted by James Dray, Exceptional Agents, Outstanding Results (Fathom Realty AR LLC) over 4 years ago

That photo always reminds me of a townhome I showed in Bethesda.  When I previewed it, I failed to walk out back.  It was pouring rain.  I did notice a ceiling repair in one of the upstairs bedrooms but it appeared to be repaired.  I knew the home inspector would determine any present riak.

However, when I was showing the property, I opened the back door and the buyer and I walked out back and looked around. 

I noticed a hose coming from the roof almost to the ground.  So, I asked the owner (who was at home) about it. 

He explained that the roof was leaking in heavy rain and for some reason, water wasn't draining (flat roof).  So, he put a sump pump on the roof and drained water out through the hose.

To the owner, his "fix" was adequate.  The buyer and I decided that "adequate" wasn't sufficient.  He passed. 

You just never know what you'll find.

 

Posted by Lenn Harley, Real Estate Broker - Virginia & Maryland (Lenn Harley, Homefinders.com, MD & VA Homes and Real Estate) over 4 years ago

James - I think your credit would be good with Billy.  You should call now.

Lenn - this is a disaster of an REO in Great Falls.  I have to admit, I have NEVER seen a sump pump on a roof!

Posted by Jay Markanich, Home Inspector - servicing all Northern Virginia (Jay Markanich Real Estate Inspections, LLC) over 4 years ago

Good morning Jay,

Just think if the space agency's had you about they wouldn't need to pull a "MacGyver" today!

Make yourself a great day.

Posted by Raymond E. Camp, Licensed Real Estate Salesperson Greater Rochester (Howard Hanna Real Estate Services) over 4 years ago

Raymond - I think that Billy would make it in a variety of industries!

Posted by Jay Markanich, Home Inspector - servicing all Northern Virginia (Jay Markanich Real Estate Inspections, LLC) over 4 years ago

That Billy Jay...he' so clever!

It takes all kinds to come up with problem solvers like these!

Posted by Suzanne Otto, Your Montgomery County PA home stager (Six Twenty Designs) over 4 years ago

Billy, please send me my Deviated Downspout before a holiday. :)

Posted by Tom Arstingstall, General Contractor, Dry Rot, Water Damage Sacramento, El Dorado County - (916) 765-5366, General Contractor, Dry Rot and Water Damage (Dry Rot and Water Damage www.tromlerconstruction.com Mobile - 916-765-5366) over 4 years ago

Jay, I think old Billy Jay stands a better chance of selling his brain for science

Posted by Charles Buell, Seattle Home Inspector (Charles Buell Inspections Inc.) over 4 years ago

Too funny Jay! Great to see such a positive attitude in a very challenging line of work!

 

Posted by Barb Szabo, CRS, E-pro Realtor, Cleveland Ohio Homes (RE/MAX Trinity Brecksville Ohio) over 4 years ago

He is a problem solver of the first order Suzanne!

This isn't the forum Tom.  You need to call now.

Is that the one in the jar labeled A.B. Normal, Charlie?

Barb - I have too much fun with this stuff.  And that Billy Jays has over 40 products for sale on AR!

Posted by Jay Markanich, Home Inspector - servicing all Northern Virginia (Jay Markanich Real Estate Inspections, LLC) over 4 years ago

Jay, me thinks it would be the empty jar labeled: ????

Posted by Charles Buell, Seattle Home Inspector (Charles Buell Inspections Inc.) over 4 years ago

Billie Jays, we missed you. As usual you are really on to something amazing! Why bother making your house look like everyone else's when you can be different. Stand out, kinda like you!

Posted by Tom White, Franklin Homes Realty LLC, Franklin TN (Franklin Homes Realty LLC (615) 495-0752 or www.FranklinHomesRealty.com) over 4 years ago

Ha ha! I think some homeowners have watched too many episodes of MacGyver.

Posted by Jeff Pearl, Full Service Full Time Realtor (RE/MAX Distinctive / LIC in VA) over 4 years ago

Now if he offered the "deluxe" version with a swivel in the middle of the downspout so you could adjust the dischage point... that would be hard to pass up! :-)

Posted by Fred Hernden, CMI, Albuquerque area Master Inspector (Superior Home Inspections - Greater Albuquerque Area) over 4 years ago

Billy Jays ... where do I send the check for this new innovative product????

Gene

Posted by Gene Mundt, IL/WI Mortgage Originator - FHA/VA/Conv/Jumbo/Portfolio/Refi, 708.921.6331 - 40+ yrs experience (NMLS #216987, IL Lic. 031.0006220, WI Licensed. APMC NMLS #175656) over 4 years ago

Charlie - if it's empty, it will hold more!

Tom - I could probably come up with more products, but it's such a production!

Maybe the lawn guy Jeff?  Or the termite guy?

Fred - I bet that's planned for Deviate Yer Downspout! version 2.0.

Gene - I'm not sure.  All I know is to call.  They probably take your credit card.

 

Posted by Jay Markanich, Home Inspector - servicing all Northern Virginia (Jay Markanich Real Estate Inspections, LLC) over 4 years ago

What happens if we put the lotsa nuts in our AC compressor downspout holders?

Posted by Kat Palmiotti, The House Kat (Grand Lux Realty, 914-419-0270, kat@thehousekat.com) over 4 years ago

In Billy Jay's case--filler up!  Gonna take a while

Posted by Charles Buell, Seattle Home Inspector (Charles Buell Inspections Inc.) over 4 years ago

Billy Jays, your commentors have some pretty good ideas above. There might be a Deviate Part 2 there. 

Posted by Mike Cooper, Your Winchester, VA Real Estate Sales Pro (Cornerstone Business Group Inc) over 4 years ago

Is Billy Jay a deviation of a normal home inspector that we all know and love?

Posted by Evelyn Johnston, The People You Know, Like and Trust! (Friends & Neighbors Real Estate) over 4 years ago

Billy Jays,

What happened to the special where if I order now I get the second one for only the cost of shipping and handling?

Posted by Bill and MaryAnn Wagner, Jersey Shore and South Jersey Real Estate (Wagner Real Estate Group) over 4 years ago
Nice beard. I am envious. :)
Posted by Jason Crouch, Broker - Austin Texas Real Estate (512-796-7653) (Austin Texas Homes, LLC) over 4 years ago

I guess that's one way to do it...not the correct way but it's one way!

Posted by Marc McMaster, Putting my clients before myself (RE/MAX Centre Realty) over 4 years ago

Jay you expanded my mind so much my brain has stretch marks.

Posted by Jim Patton, Realtor - Stanislaus & Merced county Realtor. (Century 21 M&M - 209-404-0816) over 4 years ago

Great post and very entertaining! That box of nuts loaded with your awesome photo should do the trick, Jay 

Posted by Frank Iglesias, Atlanta, GA Real Estate Investor (Working With Houses, LLC - Atlanta Real Estate Investments) over 4 years ago

What a great idea for a post-closing gift!  LOL.... I'll take some of those nuts on the side.  Be sure to deliver before x-mas!

Posted by Joan Whitebook, Consumer Focused Real Estate Services (BHG The Masiello Group) over 4 years ago

Kat - you get lots of applause from the Peanut Gallery?  Did I get it?  That's it, right?

Right, Charlie.  They're going to need a really big jar.  Say, you're almost a millionaire!

Mike - I did suggest that Billy could come out with a 2.0 in comment #18.

Quite the deviation Evelyn.  Or maybe an evil twin.  He's far cuter than I though.

Don't ask me Bill.  But hey, I see in his post that calling now does get the product to you by the holiday.

Posted by Jay Markanich, Home Inspector - servicing all Northern Virginia (Jay Markanich Real Estate Inspections, LLC) over 4 years ago

 Good morning, Jay. Can I get mine delivered before Christmas? I know that it is just around the corner  but with special handling and superduper express shipping I'm sure that you could get it here by the 24th.

Posted by TeamCHI - Complete Home Inspections, Inc., Home Inspectons - Nashville, TN area - 615.661.029 (Complete Home Inspections, Inc.) over 4 years ago

Jason - it's amazing what Photoshop can do with the Billy Mays beard...  Then another guy can take on the Billy Jays moniker!

Marc - Billy is all about doing things in ways that don't occur to most of us!  And his marketing is fabulous.  He's out with the idea quick quick.

Jim - that is so gratifying to hear!  And I got a great laugh out of it, both last night when I first read it and this morning!

That's a long-time favorite Frank.  You can wash the nuts down with this:

http://activerain.com/blogsview/2230409/wet-yer-whistle-

And, if you have dogs, maybe some of these for their Christmas stockings:

http://activerain.com/blogsview/2037447/choose-yer-chews-

Hope that helps!

Joan - I'm not sure Billy says anything about a particular holiday...

Posted by Jay Markanich, Home Inspector - servicing all Northern Virginia (Jay Markanich Real Estate Inspections, LLC) over 4 years ago

I'm not the one to contact Michael.  It's my post that gets hijacked by Billy, but I think you need to call now.

And see the comment to Joan above...

Posted by Jay Markanich, Home Inspector - servicing all Northern Virginia (Jay Markanich Real Estate Inspections, LLC) over 4 years ago

Funny!

Posted by Drick Ward, "RealtorDrick" - Experienced Representation (NEPTUNE REALTY) over 4 years ago

Jay, I saw that I was close and decided to make a push now and geterdone by the New Year.

Posted by Charles Buell, Seattle Home Inspector (Charles Buell Inspections Inc.) over 4 years ago

Well that was certainly easier than digging a trench and putting in a drain line so the water doesn't just run over your compressors.

Posted by Aaron Hofmann, aka Mr. Smyrna Vinings (Atlanta Communities) over 4 years ago

This could be the greatest innovation since Segway, or maybe even the Chia Duck Dynasty!  I'll keep your number and pass it along to anyone who wants to phone a deviate :-)

Posted by Mike Carlier, More opinions than you want to hear about. over 4 years ago

Not to worry till spring. I always have the same question. Wouldn't it have been easier to do it the right way the first time? 

Posted by Bill Reddington, Destin Florida Real Estate (Re/max Southern Realty) over 4 years ago

That's one way to get the water atleast 3' away from the foundation.

Posted by Rob Ernst, Reno, NV-775-410-4286 Inspector & Energy Auditor (Certified Structure Inspector) over 4 years ago

Drick - sometimes you just have to have a little fun!

Charlie - you're going strong!  Keep commenting and writing and the rest falls into place, as you know.

Aaron - Billy likes to put products out there that provide the easy way!

Mike - thanks!  I am sure Billy is appreciative.

Bill - I don't think Billy does anything that is not the easy way. 

Posted by Jay Markanich, Home Inspector - servicing all Northern Virginia (Jay Markanich Real Estate Inspections, LLC) over 4 years ago

Rob - would Billy ever, that's EVER, do anything that isn't in accord with proper construction practices?

Posted by Jay Markanich, Home Inspector - servicing all Northern Virginia (Jay Markanich Real Estate Inspections, LLC) over 4 years ago

Wow...a little silver duct tape and you could extend it or wind it back up to the gutter...over the chimney and water the flowers on the other side of the house !

Posted by Sally K. & David L. Hanson, WI Realtors - Luxury - Divorce (Keller Williams 414-525-0563) over 4 years ago

Now that is thinking outside the box that would make Billy proud, S&D!

I should forward your idea to him!

Posted by Jay Markanich, Home Inspector - servicing all Northern Virginia (Jay Markanich Real Estate Inspections, LLC) over 4 years ago

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