Friends and loyal followers! Hi!!
It's me, Billy Jays again!
How good it is to be with you so soon after the introduction of one of my most popular products - Dot Yer Drips!
I have to say, Dot Yer Drips! has been flying out of our warehouses!
But what have I been hearing? Your calls, letters and emails have gotten me to think.
You've been saying, "Billy Jays, my roof is so bad Dot Yer Drips! has not been enough. My roof leaks so badly it's almost like it's raining up there! It's a regular ActiveRain up there! And I don't want to lose any of it! Help Billy!"
Well, I gotta say, Billy Jays already has your back covered!
In the very test roof where Dot Yer Drips! was developed and tested we found that same problem!
It was really raining in that attic!
Then it got me thinking. What a waste that would be of good ActiveRain water! So I thought, what I could do about that, and solve that problem for you, my dear friends and family?
As I was thinking the poem about Columbus sailing the ocean blue came to mind and how on those ships they would recover the rain water to replenish their barrels of drinking water.
And it hit me!
Let me introduce my latest, and perhaps greatest, problem solver!
Recover Yer Rain! Yes, with Recover Yer Rain! not a drop of the ActiveRain that gets through your roof will go to waste!
But Billy, you might say, how can I recover all that ActiveRain? I don't want to waste any of it.
I call it Billy's Bag And Buckets!
You can see how this works along with Billy Puff!
It's a fail-safe system!
And just look at what a beautiful ocean blue Billy's Bag And Buckets! is! What a wonderful and colorful addition this can make to any attic!
Simply unroll and lay out my waterproof Billy Bag! It comes in a variety of sizes depending on how much ActiveRain you need to recover. While it looks like a regular hardware store tarp, it's not! It's my official Billy Bag!
Then decide on how many and what size Billy Buckets! you need, and lay them out accordingly! See how good that looks along with Dot Yer Drips! ?
Get creative! You can lay it all out in any pattern you want!
This pattern is recommended on page 17 of the instruction manual that comes with Recover Yer Rain! I call it Crop Circle. But hey, you can choose any one of them!
And if you call in the next twenty minutes, and because we can't do this all day, I will have my incredibly trained Phone Bank O' Bucket Babes and Boys throw in a Billy Blanket! absolutely free!
That's so you won't miss a single drop of ActiveRain! And you really don't want to! That ActiveRain has a lot of value!
It's white, like ocean foam!
So Call Now! Get your own set of Billy's Bag And Buckets! and free Billy Blanket!
Call and get your very own Recover Yer Rain!
Now, I know what you're thinking now and you don't even have to ask!
It's tough being up there in that hot attic!
And what better way to deal with that heat while you Recover Yer Rain! than a little of Billy Jays own Wet Yer Whistle!
You get a free case of Billy's special dihydrogen monoxide! Remember, we filter our dihydrogen monoxide to the minimum standards required by law. It's the code!
SO CALL NOW!
How good can this tandem product be!? Dot Yer Drips! and Recover Yer Rain! is perhaps the best tandem ever and will make for the driest attic in your neighborhood! IT CAN'T BE ANY BETTER!
Be sure to take your neighbors up to the attic so they can see how they can dry their attics too!
Let them slug down a bottle of Wet Yer Whistle! and see what a great problem solver YOU are!
It doesn't get any better than this!
So get on the phone and have a nice talk with my hand-picked Phone Bank O' Bucket Babes and Boys and order yourself up some Recover Yer Rain!
Another order of Dot Yer Drips! won't hurt either!
You'll be so glad you did!
I'd recommend that you CALL NOW...
This is Billy Jays signing off! And when it comes time to sell your house, have a great time recovering from this one...
Jay Markanich Real Estate Inspections, LLC
Based in Bristow, serving all of Northern Virginia.
Office (703) 330-6388 Cell (703) 585-7560