I can usually tell when a house is a flipped property. In this case it was the "jewel" in the crown of this particular townhouse neighborhood.
Well, a jewel until you have a look, that is.
I have so much fun with flippers that I thought I'd start a series called FLIPPER FODDER! And the series begins with today's post - Flipper Fodder - A Hose With A View.
In this neighborhood all of the houses have a shed protruding from the back. It is 4'x8' or so, and contains the electric panel box and room for garden things.
Looking over the back fence I saw that Flipper had extended the shed all along the rear of the house, and created a room! How fun is this inspection going to be!! So now we have a room beside the old shed, probably 16'x6'! With a beaten up storm door.
As I approached the wall I noticed this wonderful hose bib!
What better way to water the back yard with a fan-tail spray of water!
When turned on high I bet it reaches to the rear fence! It was dry though, so I couldn't test it. But I could hardly wait!
What a special idea!
This Flipper is a thinker!
Perhaps you see the hint here as to the very special paint job!
The entirety of the rear wall of this house, everything, was spray painted!
Yes, the siding, window (but all the paint on the glass was scraped off, well, almost all), electric meter (but all the paint on the glass was scoured off with a Brillo pad, well, almost all), telephone, cable box, AC compressor, everything!
And how many of YOU have the stylish color-coordination of house and AC compressor? That's right, not many I suspect. YOU people need to get with the times! Be at the beginning of the wave, not a mere rider thereof!
Excitedly writing down the three dozen or so problems with the rear of the house, I moved into the special rear room.
In this neighborhood it was probably rented out as a bedroom! Hence the beaten-up storm door.
You know, private entrance, expansive bathroom (the rear yard), one receptacle in the wall and a light fixture turned on from inside the house. And a walk-in closet! What more could you want when you rent a bedroom?
Going into the walk-in closet, I mean, former shed to see the panel box, my hose bib hopes were dashed when I saw this. The hose was never hooked up!
BUMMER! Flipper tried though. He had run a poly-butylene tube to the copper end, but apparently could not figure out how to marry them. How unfortunate is that? At least he used the very best product he could find.
Then I remembered. On these houses the hose bibs were located on the rear wall of the house, and NOT the shed. Why not? Because outside in the shed the pipe would be very vulnerable to freezing.
I wondered where the hose bib could be? Did Flipper forget it?
No, no he didn't! Silly, silly me!
It's still where it used to be! On the outside of the house, beside the shed!
NOW IT'S ON THE INSIDE OF THE HOUSE.
BESIDE THE GAS METER!
Now that extra layer of drywall on what used to be the outside of the house makes it a bit difficult to turn the knob.
And there is no heating or air conditioning to the room (Flipper couldn't figure that one out either).
And there's only about 4" of insulation over the ceiling, which I could see from the walk-in closet, I mean, former shed.
But this is one special room!
Wait a minute? The gas meter is INSIDE the house now? Can you do that? Well, Flipper has proved that you can. But should you do that? Is it permitted? Was any of this work done with a permit? Does the Fire Marshall know about this?
I had all kinds of notes already for what was to be an epic report and I hadn't even gotten inside the house!!
Flipper Fodder needs a theme song. I have come up with one. You recognize it. Now sing along...
Clowns to the left of me, jokers to the right, here I am, stuck in the middle with you.
Stuck in the middle with you!
And of course, we need a sponsor.
This blog has been brought to you by Lotsa Nuts!
When you feel like a snack, eat Lotsa Nuts!
Cause you are what you eat!
My recommendation: when you look at a flipped property, you probably won't need a home inspector to see how silly the house is. But please, please call one! Some people think I make this stuff up! And I don't! So please call a home inspector so he can have as much fun as I.
Thank you for your service!
Jay Markanich Real Estate Inspections, LLC
Based in Bristow, serving all of Northern Virginia.
Office (703) 330-6388 Cell (703) 585-7560