Hi folks! Do you ever worry that those puny pieces of metal flashing around your chimney just aren't enough protection against water?
I know I do!
Wouldn't you like something a bit more attractive? And thick? And paintable?
Well, worry no more!
Hi, Billy Jays here!
Now you can get everything you want - with my new attractive, thick and paintable Mount Yer Mortar!
You will worry no more!
With Mound Yer Mortar! you can make it as attractive as you want!
With Mound Yer Mortar! you can make it as thick as you want!
And With Mound Yer Mortar! you can paint it as many times as you want!
So call now!
And if you call within the next 20 minutes, cause we can't do this all day, we will send you this Mound Yer Mortar! cannon so you can shoot your attractive, thick and paintable water protection from the street! Free of charge, we will park it in front of your house and you can use it when you need!
Be sure to shoot it thicker at the bottom than the top, so the water flows right off the chimney more easily!
So call now!
And when you call, one of our specially-trained Mound Managers will ask if you want to take advantage of our special additional offer! For an additional $13.13, I will send you my special "How To Caulk Yer Chimney" manual!
Yes! It's full of colorful photos and diagrams, techniques, bead styles, colors and types of caulks you can use to finish off the bottom of your Mound Yer Mortar! as beautifully as possible!
Imagine the looks on your neighbor's face, well, the whole neighborhood really, when they look up and see Mound Yer Mortar! around your chimney! That will engender pride in you and them not felt before by any one of you!
Of course, with every order you will also receive a case of Billy Jays' favorite nuts, his very own Lotsa Nuts!
Yes, when you feel like a snack eat Lotsa Nuts!
Cause you are what you eat!
SO CALL NOW!
Billy Jays here sigining off! Merry mounding!
I'd call now...
Jay Markanich Real Estate Inspections, LLC
Based in Bristow, serving all of Northern Virginia.
Office (703) 330-6388 Cell (703) 585-7560