What I'm Seeing Now

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Mound Yer Mortar!

Hi folks!  Do you ever worry that those puny pieces of metal flashing around your chimney just aren't enough protection against water?

I know I do!

Wouldn't you like something a bit more attractive?  And thick?  And paintable?

Well, worry no more!

Hi, Billy Jays here!

 

Now you can get everything you want - with my new attractive, thick and paintable Mount Yer Mortar!

You will worry no more!

With Mound Yer Mortar! you can make it as attractive as you want!

With Mound Yer Mortar! you can make it as thick as you want!

And With Mound Yer Mortar! you can paint it as many times as you want!

So call now!

And if you call within the next 20 minutes, cause we can't do this all day, we will send you this Mound Yer Mortar! cannon so you can shoot your attractive, thick and paintable water protection from the street!  Free of charge, we will park it in front of your house and you can use it when you need!

Be sure to shoot it thicker at the bottom than the top, so the water flows right off the chimney more easily!

So call now!

And when you call, one of our specially-trained Mound Managers will ask if you want to take advantage of our special additional offer!  For an additional $13.13, I will send you my special "How To Caulk Yer Chimney" manual!

Yes!  It's full of colorful photos and diagrams, techniques, bead styles, colors and types of caulks you can use to finish off the bottom of your Mound Yer Mortar! as beautifully as possible!

Imagine the looks on your neighbor's face, well, the whole neighborhood really, when they look up and see Mound Yer Mortar! around your chimney!  That will engender pride in you and them not felt before by any one of you!

Of course, with every order you will also receive a case of Billy Jays' favorite nuts, his very own Lotsa Nuts!

Yes, when you feel like a snack eat Lotsa Nuts!

Cause you are what you eat!

SO CALL NOW!

Billy Jays here sigining off!  Merry mounding!

I'd call now...

 

 

Jay Markanich Real Estate Inspections, LLC  

Based in Bristow, serving all of Northern Virginia.

Office (703) 330-6388   Cell (703) 585-7560

www.jaymarinspect.com


Comment balloon 18 commentsJay Markanich • July 14 2011 08:03AM

Comments

Why not?  I would LOVE to see one of those guns at work!    Maybe I'll place my order today, so I'll be the first to get my LotsaNuts!

Posted by Dagny Eason, Fairfield County CT, CDPE Homes For Sale and Condo (Dagny's Real Estate) over 9 years ago

I'm shocked Dagny!  You haven't enjoyed Lotsa Nuts! before now?  You need to get on the phone.

Posted by Jay Markanich, Home Inspector - servicing all Northern Virginia (Jay Markanich Real Estate Inspections, LLC) over 9 years ago

Hey, Jay!  I need your 800 number!  And lotsa nuts to you, too!

Posted by Patricia Kennedy, Home in the Capital (RLAH Real Estate) over 9 years ago

Remember, Pat, you are what you eat...

And none of us can get enough nuts.

Posted by Jay Markanich, Home Inspector - servicing all Northern Virginia (Jay Markanich Real Estate Inspections, LLC) over 9 years ago

LOL

Posted by Maria Morton, Kansas City Real Estate 816-560-3758 (Platinum Realty) over 9 years ago

Thanks Maria.  I don't know why Billy uses my site to hawk his wares, but he has sold well over 30 products on AR.  You might enjoy some of them!

Posted by Jay Markanich, Home Inspector - servicing all Northern Virginia (Jay Markanich Real Estate Inspections, LLC) over 9 years ago

Jay,

Fire away ; )

Is flashings just so darn expensive that it will break the bank everytime?

Posted by Donald Hester, NCW Home Inspections, LLC (NCW Home Inspections, LLC) over 9 years ago

I'll buy some only if you throw in a couple cans of those nuts...

Posted by TeamCHI - Complete Home Inspections, Inc., Home Inspectons - Nashville, TN area - 615.661.029 (Complete Home Inspections, Inc.) over 9 years ago

I just knew Billy Jays couldn't let that opportunity pass without developing the appropriate product.  Have you considered offering franchises?  I've seen lots of chimneys in GA that lack flashing. 

Posted by John Mulkey, Housing Guru (TheHousingGuru.com) over 9 years ago

Don - I couldn't find flashing under there anywhere!  But no problem - Billy handled it!

Michael - I'm sure you already know this, but a case of Lotsa Nuts! comes with every order!  So call now!

John - all the Billy Jays products are very unique and I don't know that franchising is in the works.  Probably not.  When you see those chimneys just have them call now!

Posted by Jay Markanich, Home Inspector - servicing all Northern Virginia (Jay Markanich Real Estate Inspections, LLC) over 9 years ago

I've got just the chimney for Mound Your Mortar. Does it work inside too?

Posted by James Quarello, Connecticut Home Inspector (JRV Home Inspection Services, LLC) over 9 years ago

If you mean inside the attic Jim (I read your post), yes, perfectly, but a hole must be knocked out of the roof to aim the product into place.  Believe me, it's easily done!  I'd call now.

Posted by Jay Markanich, Home Inspector - servicing all Northern Virginia (Jay Markanich Real Estate Inspections, LLC) over 9 years ago

Wow, what a product. I need a case, just in case. And does Mound Manager training include Lots'A Nuts?

Posted by Robert Butler, Montreal Home Inspector | Aspect Inspection (Aspect Inspection) over 9 years ago

Every order includes the nuts Robert.  I'd call now...

Posted by Jay Markanich, Home Inspector - servicing all Northern Virginia (Jay Markanich Real Estate Inspections, LLC) over 9 years ago

Hey, Jay!  I included this post in Last Week's Favorites.

Posted by Patricia Kennedy, Home in the Capital (RLAH Real Estate) over 9 years ago

Thanks Pat!  I will have to tell Billy.  I think this is his first product to get featured!

 

Posted by Jay Markanich, Home Inspector - servicing all Northern Virginia (Jay Markanich Real Estate Inspections, LLC) over 9 years ago

Jay, Billy has the entire infomercial market wide open for him now with the passingof Ron Popiel. There's no limits to how many poeple can get their hands on Lotsanuts

Posted by Ed Silva, Central CT Real Estate Broker Serving all equally (Mapleridge Realty, CT 203-206-0754 ) over 9 years ago

I had not heard that Mr. P had passed Ed, but will pass that along to Billy.  He will not be happy about that, for sure.

Posted by Jay Markanich, Home Inspector - servicing all Northern Virginia (Jay Markanich Real Estate Inspections, LLC) over 9 years ago

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