What I'm Seeing Now

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Stick Yer Screen!

Hi folks!  Billy Jays here!

I am so happy to be here to introduce our new product!

No doubt you are like me!  We all have houses with windows.  And don't those windows have screens?  Sure they do!

And how often have you been waken up at night by the banging and pounding of a screen against the window when a stormy wind whips up?  Well I know I have!

AND IT CAN BE AGGRAVATING!

Introducing Stick Yer Screen!

Yes, Stick Yer Screen! is guaranteed to stop that banging and shaking forever!

No more getting up at night and thinking about what you can use to stop that banging!

Duct tape?  NO WAY!  Foam peanuts?  NO WAY!  A pencil?  NO! NO WAY!

Why waste your time on what doesn't satisfy when you can use WHAT DOES SATISFY?

Stick Yer Screen! will ALWAYS satisfy!  And it's quick!

Stick Yer Screen! is the most unusual product we have ever come out with!

Just pull a stick of Stick Yer Screen! out of its special, sealing wrapper, and pop it in your mouth!

You say, "Billy, did you say to pop it in my mouth?"

YES!  Stick Yer Screen! is the first product we have ever offered that you pop in your mouth.  Just chew it up and get it to just the right consistency!

And Stick Yer Screen! is flavored!  That's right!  You can order Juicy Fruity, Double Minty, Red Hot Cinnamon, Spearmint Leaf, or Orange Julius!

And if you call in the next 20 minutes, cause we can't do this all day, we will double your pleasure and double your fun!  That's right!  Two sticks of Stick Yer Screen! for the price of one!

I'm feeling crazy enough now to say that if you share Stick Yer Screen! with a friend or neighbor, I will throw in a third piece ABSOLUTELY FREE!

So Call Now!

Call now, and our pleasant phone counselors are waiting to flap their gums and will help you to choose just the right flavors for you!  Have your credit card ready and for just $18.88, Stick Yer Screen! will be on its way!

Stick Yer Screen! might start out looking like chewed piece of gum, but in our special Time and Weather Simulation Lab we have determined that this is what Stick Yer Screen! will look like in 13 years!

Still stuck and still working!

Yes, Stick Yer Screen! will stop that screen from banging for decades to come!

And once again, Billy Jays will CHANGE YOUR LIFE!  So CALL NOW!

 

 

Jay Markanich Real Estate Inspections, LLC  

Based in Bristow, serving all of Northern Virginia.

Office (703) 330-6388   Cell (703) 585-7560

www.jaymarinspect.com


Comment balloon 31 commentsJay Markanich • May 12 2011 05:30AM

Comments

WOW! That's sounds like a great offer.  Can't wait to tell all my friends!

(Thanks for starting my day with a smile)

Posted by Joan Pearsall, Photographer (Best View Imaging) almost 8 years ago

Another award winning product from the Billy Jays Institute. Have a great day Michael.

Posted by Randy Ostrander, Real Estate Broker, Serving Big Rapids and West Central MI (Lake and Lodge Realty LLC ) almost 8 years ago

Are you the same folks that invented 'nail-yer-doors-closed' to prevent unwanted access to rooms and off-limits areas?

Posted by Mike Mayer (Mike Mayer, Broker/Owner - i List For Less Realty, LLC) almost 8 years ago

You are welcome Joan!  Billy has been here 26 times now.  He has fabulous products!  But you really should call now.

Randy - I think this is a product that could really catch on!  And I haven't been to Michael's post yet today, but when I do go I will wish him a great day too!

Posted by Jay Markanich, Home Inspector - servicing all Northern Virginia (Jay Markanich Real Estate Inspections, LLC) almost 8 years ago

Wow, Mike!  That sounds great!  I will have to convey this to Billy!

Posted by Jay Markanich, Home Inspector - servicing all Northern Virginia (Jay Markanich Real Estate Inspections, LLC) almost 8 years ago

I expect to see this pitch on an infomercial soon.  Very funny.

Posted by Jon Solomon (Javic Homes) almost 8 years ago

Jon - there are many such fun products offered by Billy here on AR!  I think this is product #27.

Posted by Jay Markanich, Home Inspector - servicing all Northern Virginia (Jay Markanich Real Estate Inspections, LLC) almost 8 years ago

Yes, that sounds like a great solution.  I even heard from a satisfied customer that it can last for years.

Posted by Debbie Gartner, The Flooring Girl & Blog Stylist -Dynamo Marketers (The Flooring Girl) almost 8 years ago

Seems to be the bomb Debbie.  That satisfied customer is still around too!

Posted by Jay Markanich, Home Inspector - servicing all Northern Virginia (Jay Markanich Real Estate Inspections, LLC) almost 8 years ago

Good morning, Jay. What a steal. Knowing how this product sticks to the bottom of your shoe in a hot parking lot, a screen should be a cinch... 

Posted by TeamCHI - Complete Home Inspections, Inc., Home Inspectons - Nashville, TN area - 615.661.029 (Complete Home Inspections, Inc.) almost 8 years ago

Billy Jays does it again! And to think that I have been throwing away valuable pieces of Stick Yer Screen for years!  What a waste!

Posted by Kathryn Maguire, Serving Chesapeake, Norfolk, VA Beach (GreatNorfolkHomes.com (757) 560-0881) almost 8 years ago

Billy Jays, what is that number again? One more time?

lol. Gotta love it! I need 5 orders of those. Ship it overnight!

Posted by Lydie Ouellet Dickinson, Realtor (Realty Executives Tri County, Bellingham MA) almost 8 years ago

WOW, Billy! Can I get this in a 10 pack? I've got a lot of screens?

Posted by Bob "RealMan" Timm, Owner of Ward Co. Notary Services, retired Realtor (Ward County Notary Services) almost 8 years ago

Jay ~  This is such an amazing product!  I do believe your marketing people have left out a couple of key selling points; however --  a built-in DNA source for those great, great, great-grandchildren who are sure to follow, and the marvelous dental identifiers . . .

Posted by Tish Lloyd, Broker - Wilmington NC and Surrounding Beaches (BlueCoast Realty Corporation) almost 8 years ago

Billy - Sounds like a great product, and if it tastes good, that's even better. Can't wait to receive my order.

Posted by John Mulkey, Housing Guru (TheHousingGuru.com) almost 8 years ago

Jay, thanks for the laugh. Another great Billy-Jay product that SOME homeowner somewhere is sure to have on their shelf.

Posted by Craig Snead, Real Estate Investor (Quality Home Investments, LLC / Dearborn Heights, MI) almost 8 years ago

Jay, well that should gum up the works just fine---can we order it pre-chewed?

Posted by Charles Buell, Seattle Home Inspector (Charles Buell Inspections Inc.) almost 8 years ago

Billy Jays, I could see this see this coming when I read Jay's post  a couple of days ago... I must say, it seems to stand up to the test of time...

Posted by Chris Smith, South Simcoe, Caledon, King, Orangeville Real Esta (Re/Max Chay Realty Inc., Brokerage) almost 8 years ago

Michael - I think you might be confusing Stick Yer Screen! with chewing gum.

Oh Kathryn, you need to read the answer above to Michael.

Lydie - you haven't called yet?  The phone consultants are real dolls.

Bob - the screens on your house look pretty small, but this product will work just as well.

Posted by Jay Markanich, Home Inspector - servicing all Northern Virginia (Jay Markanich Real Estate Inspections, LLC) almost 8 years ago

JAy,

I like it better there than on the bottom of my shoe.

Posted by Donald Hester, NCW Home Inspections, LLC (NCW Home Inspections, LLC) almost 8 years ago

Tish - you should contact Billy directly with your ideas!

John - I think the many-flavor selection list sells the product more so than any of its other wonderful features.

Craig - I know a guy.  He's a great person and a great friend.

Be careful Charlie - you remember what happened when you asked for chocolate?

Chris - Billy stands by his product.  Well, all of his products!

Posted by Jay Markanich, Home Inspector - servicing all Northern Virginia (Jay Markanich Real Estate Inspections, LLC) almost 8 years ago

I do too Don.  This product isn't like chewing gum in that regard!  See my response to Michael above!

Posted by Jay Markanich, Home Inspector - servicing all Northern Virginia (Jay Markanich Real Estate Inspections, LLC) almost 8 years ago

Gee why don't you blow bubbles big enough to coat the whole house. then we could classify it as a vapour barreier and they could be diffewrent flavours to scent the whole house. Yeah!

Posted by Robert Butler, Montreal Home Inspector | Aspect Inspection (Aspect Inspection) almost 8 years ago

Not a bad idea Robert!  And maybe, too, this tenting of the house could seal it up to fumigate or use pesticides!

You might want to contact Billy with your idea.

Posted by Jay Markanich, Home Inspector - servicing all Northern Virginia (Jay Markanich Real Estate Inspections, LLC) almost 8 years ago

Does it ship with a set of Ginsu steak knives?  SO FUNNY, you know (at least hope) someone did that late one night with the intention of fixing it properly in daylight...but them just forgot...

Posted by Marie Graham, Westchester County Interior Decorator, Home Stager (Owner, The Refreshed Home White Plains NY) almost 8 years ago

It seems to me that, just the other day, we discussed the benefits of chewing while on the job.

Posted by Steven L. Smith, Bellingham WA Home Inspector (King of the House Home Inspection, Inc.) almost 8 years ago

Marie - no knives.  And that someone late at night was me!  I suspect you already knew that!

http://activerain.com/blogsview/2284563/gumming-up-the-works

Steve - we did!  And you have used this product before, but I think you might be mixing up Stick Yer Screen! with chewing gum.

Posted by Jay Markanich, Home Inspector - servicing all Northern Virginia (Jay Markanich Real Estate Inspections, LLC) almost 8 years ago

I KNEW there was a reason I hate chewing gum............and I thought it was from those years in a classroom, making sure the little 'angels' did not put that gum under the desk top when they were finished with it...............

Posted by Barbara-Jo Roberts Berberi, MA, PSA, TRC - Greater Clearwater Florida Residential Real Estate Professional, Palm Harbor, Dunedin, Clearwater, Safety Harbor (Charles Rutenberg Realty) almost 8 years ago

Barbara-Jo - I made my way all through school chewing gum when I wasn't supposed to.  I learned to speak Spanish with gum in my mouth and can't speak it as well without!

Posted by Jay Markanich, Home Inspector - servicing all Northern Virginia (Jay Markanich Real Estate Inspections, LLC) almost 8 years ago

Nice.  I knew this was coming :)

Posted by Reuben Saltzman, Delivering the Unbiased Truth. (Structure Tech Home Inspections) almost 8 years ago

A complete and professional repair every time Reuben!  And loooong lasting!

Posted by Jay Markanich, Home Inspector - servicing all Northern Virginia (Jay Markanich Real Estate Inspections, LLC) almost 8 years ago

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