Have you noticed how your deck beams, posts and columns are bolted but still feel loose?
Do you go out onto the deck to feel things wobbling about?
Is it a worry that you want to go away?
Well, worry no more!
Hi, Billy Jays here!
I know it bothers me when I go onto a deck and things are a bit wobbly.
Or if I go underneath and see that the through bolts have no nuts on them!
Or even if the through bolts do have nuts on them and things are still wobbly!
Well, let this bother you no more!!
You need Bend Yer Bolt!
Yes, Bend Yer Bolt! will change your life!
It will certainly change your deck!
Yes, Bend Yer Bolt! will work with or without a nut!
And once bent, just imagine how solid your bolt, AND YOUR DECK, will be!
AND HOW FUN TO KNOW YOUR BOLTS WILL NEVER COME OUT AGAIN!
NO MORE DECK LOOSEY, GOOSEY!
So call now and get my special kit of bolt benders!
Don't think those are just regular pipes either!
Those babies are specially selected, specially sized, and guaranteed to fit any bolt you come up against!
Just find the right size, slip it over the bolt and Bend Yer Bolt!
Nothing could be easier!
So CALL NOW! Our warehouse is full and our very professional, pipe smoking, um, pipe-informed operators are bending over backwards to ship our product out our door right to your door!
And if you call now, and promise to tell a friend, cause we can't do this all day, we'll also ship you a case of Lotsa Nuts!
No, not nuts for your deck!
Lotsa Nuts! silly! You eat'em!
When you feel like a snack, eat Lotsa Nuts!
Cause you are what you eat!
So, don't get caught again with a deck with loose bolts!
And don't worry if your bolts have nuts or not!
Get Bend Yer Bolt! and your worries will go away!
Imagine how happy your neighbors will be to know they are on a deck with bolts that simply can't come loose! I know, I know, you'll only have to tell them that Billy Jays took care of that!
They'll feel better right away!
So, Bend Yer Bolt! and eat Lotsa Nuts!
Life is good. So CALL NOW!!
Jay Markanich Real Estate Inspections, LLC
Based in Bristow, serving all of Northern Virginia.
Office (703) 330-6388 Cell (703) 585-7560