On inspections, I often leave my card and write something on it.
Sometimes it says, "The ice in the bin was not made by your ice maker, shame on you." But that was another story in another post.
Usually it just says, "Please call me with any questions." Not all home inspectors would invite this. I do.
This practice has gotten me other inspections in the past with either the sellers or agent of the property I inspected.
This time it got me a call.
"Is this the inspector?" "Yes. This is Jay." "I'm calling to say you're an idiot!"
This I had to hear! With a big smile, I simply said, "Go on."
"You say there's rotting on my bay window!? I went outside and there is none! NONE!! You inspectors just say things to say them! You have no business reporting things that don't exist! You haven't been in business very long, have you!? And you won't BE in business very long because you're an idiot!"
I could have heard him from across the room. There is a bay window on each side of the house. My report clearly pointed out the bay window behind the bush and beside the telephone equipment, to distinguish it from the bay on the other side of the house...
So I thought I'd have some fun with it. "Did you read my report?" "No, all I have is a faxed copy of the addendum and they are asking that the bay window be fixed!" "Sir, I reported rot because there is rot. But I'll tell you what. I will pay you $1000 toward repairs on your house if you go back outside and find no rot." "I'LL TAKE THAT BET! AND I WILL PAY YOU $1000 IF THERE ISN'T ANY, HOW'S THAT!!??" "Fine. And be sure to check the bay I mentioned in my report, the one behind the bush and next to the telephone equipment, on the other side of the house. Please call me back!" "I WILL!"
This is what he saw:
See the bush to the left? And one of the two phone boxes to the right?
Of course my pen wasn't there.
I could have stuck my pen all the way into the house!
He never called back.
And I am still waiting.
I'm sure he'll call any minute now.
The episode reminded me of a saying in Spanish - Mucho tacto y mucho ojo ántes que se meta la pata.
That means, essentially, to have tact and keep your eyes open before you stick your foot in it.
I cannot tell you how tempted I was, and I mean with a bad angel on each shoulder (!), to call him back and yell (like he yelled):
WHO'S THE IDIOT NOW!!
But I won't.
My recommendation: Show some upbringing and use some tact when you call a home inspector!
Sometimes we actually know what we are talking about...
Jay Markanich Real Estate Inspections, LLC
Based in Bristow, serving all of Northern Virginia.
Office (703) 330-6388 Cell (703) 585-7560