What I'm Seeing Now

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T.R.A.S.H.

How often have you gone outside after a wind storm to see your siding hanging at all angles?

Have you ever wondered what to do about it?  Or how much it would cost to get it fixed?

Well wonder no more!

Hi, Billy Jays here!

I am inviting you to be the first in your neighborhood to own a very special repair kit.  A siding repair kit!   Nothing will make you prouder than to be the first on your own block to fix that damaged, wind-blown siding.  We call our kit:

 

T. o

R. epair

A.

S. ided

H. ouse!

Our T.R.A.S.H. kit comes with a complete set of printed instructions in the eighteen most prominent languages found in our country today. *

It also includes a guide to help you to pick out just the right nails to install your siding firmly and permanently.  And to cover those nails, gaps or cracks another convenient color palette will help you to select just the right caulking to perfectly match your siding color!

When you are done, you can stand back and not even notice that you ever had a problem!  Your siding problems will have completely disappeared! And before your neighbors even break out their ladders!

So call now, and for three easy payments of $1.79, your very own T.R.A.S.H. kit will be rushed to your home!

But wait, if you call in the next 10 minutes, because we can't do this all day, we will also send you a roll of our patented Corner Patch Kit.  You will never again have to worry about a vinyl siding corner that has become damaged by that pesky weed whacker or soccer ball!  Once installed, you will never see that cracked or broken corner again!  This T.R.A.S.H. really works!

So call now!  Our knowledgeable and trained phone consultants are standing by!

That's right!  One call will get you our very popular T.R.A.S.H. kit and a roll of our new Corner Patch Kit!

So call now!!

My recommendation:   Be sure to hold some money back in escrow for any unexpected repairs, even if the sellers say that they will have a "cousin who works in construction" fix everything the home inspector finds.  Everything...

* Instructions also come in English.  But be sure to ask.

Jay Markanich Real Estate Inspections, LLC  

Based in Bristow, serving all of Northern Virginia.

Office (703) 330-6388   Cell (703) 585-7560

www.jaymarinspect.com


Comment balloon 9 commentsJay Markanich • February 24 2010 06:36PM

Comments

This is great I am forwarding to everyone I know!!!!!

Posted by Ed Wagenseller, Real Estate & Homes - Wrightsville Beach (REMAX Essential) over 9 years ago

This is Billy's third sales pitch Ed.  Glad you enjoyed it!

Posted by Jay Markanich, Home Inspector - servicing all Northern Virginia (Jay Markanich Real Estate Inspections, LLC) over 9 years ago

Jay ~ I don't know there was a A siding repair kit! Thanks and I will re-blog this. I don't think many consumers know about it. Well unless they visit: T.R.A.S.H.

Posted by Monique Combs, South West Florida: Fort Myers, Cape Coral, Estero (Schooner Bay Realty., Inc.) over 9 years ago

Oh, I like you better without the beard..

Posted by Monique Combs, South West Florida: Fort Myers, Cape Coral, Estero (Schooner Bay Realty., Inc.) over 9 years ago

Monique - it's a beaut, isn't it!  And the beard is a Photoshop from the face of you know who...

Posted by Jay Markanich, Home Inspector - servicing all Northern Virginia (Jay Markanich Real Estate Inspections, LLC) over 9 years ago

Another use for my new products soon to hit the market, SqDoo and SqGoo. Especially SqGoo.

SqDoo will be a bonus for these homeowners. In fact, Billy Jays, SqDoo is perfect for your "But wait! There's more!" offer.

My sales force will be contacting you soon. Please stand by.

Posted by Kate Kate over 9 years ago

Thanks Nana!  But I'm not sure anything beats our T.R.A.S.H.

Billy

Posted by Jay Markanich, Home Inspector - servicing all Northern Virginia (Jay Markanich Real Estate Inspections, LLC) over 9 years ago

Billy Jay, is there a payment plan---I don't want to get into my 401K

Posted by Charles Buell, Seattle Home Inspector (Charles Buell Inspections Inc.) over 9 years ago

Charlie - we might be able to stretch the three easy payments into six, if that helps!

Billy

Posted by Jay Markanich, Home Inspector - servicing all Northern Virginia (Jay Markanich Real Estate Inspections, LLC) over 9 years ago

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