This is what greeted me in the front window of my inspection yesterday. I knew I was in for a treat!
The inspection was indeed a treat, but writing the report was not! I knew from this particular Realtor's name that there was fun to be had in this inspection. Reputation you know. But an inspector has to be careful - there are lots of things that are hidden and not easily detectable.
The report had 165 items in the summary of concerns. That might not be the record, but it is up there.
Here is a tour of things the Realtor saw and yet proclaimed this house to be in "Move In Condition!"
Enjoy...
This is one of the two rear downspouts.
The other was missing and it was draining right onto the AC unit below.
The new retaining wall, just outside the basement door, should be a lot of fun for the kids! It's only 18" off the ground and should make a great climb!
Here's the new master bedroom suite! It is located in the converted garage. These are two walls. Notice anything missing?
Right! No where to plug in the alarm clock! Anywhere.
Oh, and that double switch on the wall? I could not figure out what either controlled.
Right in the middle of the master bedroom ceiling is the attic access ladder. It comes down slightly to the right of the middle of the room. In order to install the array of new lights and fans in the "remodeled" house one needed lights in the attic.
Here is one of three, all connected. Never did find the switch.
Moving to the kitchen, there was a dishwasher (not attached to the counter or cabinet and one hinge was loose) but no other appliance present.
The house had been converted from gas to all electric. This is the "new" receptacle for the range. It was not labeled in the panel box.
The black cable is attached inside and seems to service something else, undetermined during the inspection!
And, yes, that is one interesting ground line and connection.
All that new electrical required new wiring. Much of it was in the furnace room. This is an example of the many junction boxes in that room.
Cables hung all over the house. They came from somewhere, as you can see, and went somewhere and were not attached to the wall.
The many switches in that room controlled nothing we could see.
That same furnace room had lots of the new plumbing.
It was supported very well ... with duct tape.
Right under this photo is the new heat pump. Eight inches in front of it is the new washer/dryer set. It's going to be a bit difficult for the buyer (a single lady) to get that filter out!
This is the fine new breaker for the fine new heat pump.
I'm not sure the heat pump needs a breaker with quite that much amperage.
Okay, I am sure. It doesn't...
A new HVAC system needs new ducts and registers.
This is the upstairs hall bath register.
What, you don't see it?
That's it right there, in the floor, between the end of the door and the tub.
Well, yes, it's covered with tile, but it is there!
Oh, yeah, the register in the living room, did not blow any air.
This is hard to see. It is one of two negatively-inclined drain lines. This is connected to the ejector pump beside the new basement bathroom. The basement bathroom was created from the old laundry room, I think. Below the gravity drain from the house, the effluent from the bathroom needs to be pumped upward and then into a current drain line so it can leave the house.
The problem is that this negative incline must go on for a while, because when the ejector pump is engaged and the effluent pumped out, a WHOLE LOT comes back into the pit!
It is negatively inclined because that pesky toilet drain above is in the way.
And finally, the chimney outside and the fireplace inside seem to have moved a bit. A lot of bit.
In the family room both sides and the center have cracked and moved noticeably.
Good thing they fixed that with some Great Foam and caulking!
Woohoo! That ought to handle it.
The exterior cracking was hidden behind some garden timbers.
I had 165 such items. These are only a few photographs. If these are the kinds of things we can see, what is happening where we cannot see??!!
Oh, there were no permits for any of the work. Obviously.
My recommendation: If you are going to put a "Move In Condition" sign on a house, be really, really sure!
Jay Markanich Real Estate Inspections, LLC 
Based in Bristow, serving all of Northern Virginia.
Office (703) 330-6388 Cell (703) 585-7560
We are very thankful for you home inspectors! This home is gonna need a lot of TLC! Great photos..thanks for sharing. hope they get it up to code!
btw.. Your child looks very happy, gorgeous, and sweet!
I hope he sees this blog...thats a big oppppps!
Oh my, move in condition? This is taking renovation to a whole new level.
Ginger - I am glad you are! Getting that place up to code will be a big job. I don't think they want the County to know anything about that house! And thanks as to our daughter. She is as sweet as any 12 year old, going on 23...
Heather - my client and the realtor could hardly wait for this to come out. I doubt the other agent, a she, will want to see it! Disclosure you know.
Wanda - I see this kind of thing nearly every day! I have another one coming tomorrow, though not as long!
I don't envy you Jay, great job for the would(n't) be purchasers.
Perhaps the agent was referring to insects when they put up the sign??
Kevin - She may yet buy the house! What the buyer does with the inspection info is not really my purview, but I told her I would not want my mother or daughter buying that house!
Ralph - insects would have done quite well there. Nice place for them!
Jay, where can I sign up for a house like this? And to think I won't have to bring any money along for repairs.
Kate - apparently here in Virginia. You want that agent's name and number? She has quite a reputation for herself and I don't think she realizes it...
What a riot!
I couldn't decide whether to laugh or cry! I decided to laugh. What else can you do?
Susan - I laughed to, a lot. So did the Realtor and client. What else can you do? Laughing is good medicine!
Hey Jay,
That's a good lesson for us as inspectors, we need to always be on point. Very good and informative post.
Sometimes, Eric, you have to be on point 500 times!
WOW maybe they meant to say move out ready?
Carol - all in all, it was a very dangerous house! I moved out quickly once the inspection was done...