You have probably heard by now that our government, in all its infinite wisdom, has decided to stop purchasing condoms from its long-time supplier in Alabama. The United States government is the largest purchaser of condoms in the world. And it should be. It needs a large and ready supply for its biggest customers - those who attend government schools! It is a wise, caring and watchful government that takes care of its constituents, of all ages, and, soon, at nearly all levels of education!
And, at the expense of American jobs, from whom will this wise, caring, and watchful government be purchasing its annual 500 million condoms?
BEAM ME UP, SCOTTIE!!
Yes, that wonderful trading "partner" who now provides breakables that didn't used to be, mercury and lead where they should not be, e-coli where we don't want it to be, hydrogen sulfide gas where we didn't think it ever would be, computer worms and viruses in games we would not imagine they could be, well, this is fun and I could go on...
Are you sure you want the Chinese producing something we really don't want to fail? Are you sure...!!!
When I was a kid, the term "Made in Japan" had all kinds of jokes associated with it. Well, this trading "partner" is no joke. Why is our omniscient government doing this? The "old" rules, by the "old" government, used to stipulate "American Made" for government-purchased things. The stimulus bill (I know, I know, but that one would be too easy...) does not stipulate such! And, and this is a big and, Alabaman condoms cost 5 cents apiece. The Chinese condoms only cost 2 cents! Imagine the savings to us, the American taxpayer!
Our vernacular will change:
"Chinese take out" with a new meaning will replace "Chinese take out" with the old meaning. Chinese restaurants will have to change their signs for fear of advertising the wrong thing.
"Practicing safe Chinese" will be the new government oxy-moron.
The medicine cabinet will be the new China town.
"All the tea in China" will be replaced by "All the C in China."
The game Chinese Checkers will frighten tweens.
Chinese junk will no longer refer to a boat.
Chinese lantern will no longer refer to a collapsible, paper lamp!
The Chinese will not want everything they make to be stamped "Made in China."
Imagine all the Great Walls of China that will be constructed when the failure-rate statistics for these babies get out!
And the phrase, "Hey, honey, feel like some Chinese tonight?" will become its own, cute, new little expression.
My recommendation: Don't be oxy-moronic! PRACTICE SAFE CHINESE! Just say no...
Jay Markanich Real Estate Inspections, LLC
Based in Bristow, serving all of Northern Virginia.
Office (703) 330-6388 Cell (703) 585-7560