What I'm Seeing Now

It's been a long time - are outhouse laws still on the books?

There are Port O' Potties everywhere, albeit temporary.  I have seen them in people's yards.  Hopefully they are there for a short-term reason.  But I don't know about outhouses. 

Do sellers try to hide things?  Interesting construction, booby traps they set for inspectors, illegal installations?  Yes!  Yes they do!  Well, some do.  This is something I ran across well over a decade ago, but thought you might find it, shall we say, unusual!

This was a ranch house, with a full basement.  There was an unfinished side, with the furnace, laundry, electrical panel and main plumbing stack.  And there was a finished side, with what the listing stated to be a newly installed in-law suite, complete with a full bath.  It looked very nice.

We tested the bathroom - everything was fine.  Well appointed, good water pressure, properly-installed plumbing, vent fan, very nice.  I wondered about the permit - I did not see one and mentioned it to the buyers.  Hint:  if you don't see a permit sticker, your buyers should always ask to see one.  I was bothered though by two things:

1.  The main drain stack was in the furnace room.  I saw no evidence that a drain from the bathroom had ever been connected.  And the bathroom was a good 30 feet away.

2.  There was an odor in the basement.  It was faint, but present.  The house had been shut up for a while, could that have been it?

We continued into the in-law suite.  It was fine, although there was no fire escape.  Selling it as an "in-law suite" would have been incorrect.  It was not, but a fine room nonetheless.  However, it did have a somewhat large closet, exactly the width of the bathroom beside.  When I opened the closet door the odor was much stronger.

There was no access panel to the shower plumbing.  What caused the odor?  Kneeling by the wall, my knee felt a slight squishy deflection.  Concrete slabs are not squishy.  I did something I don't usually do - I gently pulled up the carpet.  What I saw was a piece of plexi-glass laying over a hole, almost 3 feet in diameter, that had obviously been carved out with a sledge hammer.  I couldn't see under it, so with a screw driver I pried it up.

I was looking into the gaping jaws of the pits of hell!  We found the source of the odor!  The soil underneath the bathroom had nearly been completely removed, and to a depth of 4 or 5 feet!  The plumbing from all three fixtures was depositing its contributions into that pit!  The buyer said, "It's an outhouse!"  I couldn't help myself - jokes for this thing could go in a dozen different directions.  I said, "No.  Technically it's an inhouse." 

Levity is good to lessen loads, loosen tight situations, and clear the air, so to speak.  There were jokes originating inside that were simply bursting to get out.  One did, "Gee, is this going to CAN the deal?"

"It's an outlaw, in-law, inhouse outhouse!"  Then another:

"They could have provided a bucket of lime and called it a powder room."  And another:

Quoting Poor Richard, I said, "Franklin said that fish and guests begin to stink after three days."  Yep, another:

"This lends a whole new meaning to the term 'water closet'!"  Some people don't know when to quit...  the buyers loved it though!

We didn't even look at the upper level!  Thus terminateth the inspection.  The deal had been CANNED. 

A while later, we did another inspection.  Just seeing each other in the driveway we all laughed!

My recommendation:  When you smell a basement odor, check there first.  You may run across a John without a last name...

It was a lovely home, very large, bricked, huge hip roof with a gabled window on each side, and beautiful, newly-installed cedar shakes.  Gorgeous!  Outside and then inside.  And for $1.5 mil it should be!

My client and I had a good time.  There was little to speak about really - for a new home I was pleasantly surprised.  The supervisor beamed.  He had done a good job.  My client was impressed and very happy.

It was time for the attic.  The pull-down stairs made it easy as the ceilings were 10' high.  There was lots to see in the attic - insulation, ventilation, quality of the truss structure, the two HVAC units.  I climbed up, turned on the light and waited for my client and the supervisor.  He had started tagging along when I complimented him on the house.

Then I saw it.  My flashlight came across something I had never seen before in an attic.

It was a stamp.  Not a philatelic stamp.  These stamps aren't made for mailing.  It was a stamp placed on the wood sheathing by the manufacturer.  It read:

"This side should be installed up."

Now for me, that was a big Uh-oh!  I shined my light elsewhere.  More of the same.  A lot more of the same!    The stamps were everywhere!

Can you say, "Holy Moly Kingfish!"??

I pointed it out to my client.  I pointed it out to the supervisor.

That's why I was there, you should know.

My client looked puzzled.  The supervisor suddenly stopped beaming.

That's when the supervisor blew it.  He said, "Oh, those stamps don't mean anything..."

Given the seriousness of the moment, you should be proud to know I actually suppressed what could have been one really loud, long, bellowing, right-from-the-bottom-of-the-gut laugh.

My client is not a stupid man.  He was buying a house for $1.5 million!  He said, and you have to appreciate the logic here, "Then why are they on there?  Are there stamps on the other side that say, 'This side should be installed down'?"

No answer.  So I filled the void, "Yes."

That's why I was there, you should know.

As I looked at the supervisor, his eyes immediately diverted to his feet.  I think he was mad.  But mad at what?  Me?  My find?  That he was caught?  That I discovered something he didn't know about?  He has been on site for 120, 130 days or more.  I was there a couple of hours, a long morning really.  He didn't know?  Really?

I have to imagine that removing all those shakes, and sheathing, and not damaging any of those many trusses, then re-sheathing, re-tar papering and re-shingling (cutting and fitting all those shakes ... again), all the while not damaging or letting the weather damage anything inside, well, I have to imagine that it was quite an expensive fix. 

I have to imagine that my client was happy ... again.

That's why I was there, you should know.

My recommendation:  When you hire roofers, hire the ones who speak English, or can read.  If it was your house, which would you prefer?

Recently I was asked about the weirdest inspection I have ever done. That was an easy one!

Years ago I pulled up to a very well maintained property. Not much unusual at first glance – white siding, black roof, black shutters, window and door trim. As is my custom, I looked at the outside and met my clients when they arrived to walk around again with them. It was time to go inside.

The Realtor opened the door and everyone invited me to go first. I wondered about the nervous giggling behind me. They wanted to see my reaction.

The door opened to the living room. The carpet and ceiling were black. The walls and the furniture were all white. The pictures on the walls were all framed in black, containing black and white photos and art. I turned around to laughter. The look on my face must have telegraphed volumes! What is this?!

I proceeded into the dining room. It was opposite the living room – the carpet and ceiling were white. And the walls and furniture were black. The pictures on the walls were framed in white, and again, with all black and white photos and art. The plates and such in the black cabinet were white, as was the bowl in the center of the black table. The “fruit” in the bowl was black and white.

I am not kidding…

The hallway off the other side of the living room was opposite the living room scheme. The bedrooms off the hall were opposite the hall. All the black and white carpets abutted perfectly. Door frames were opposite the walls, bedroom furniture opposite the carpets. I probably don’t need to mention the colors of the clothing in the closets…

The whole house followed like this! Curtains and blinds were appropriate for the room, black or white, even with patterns.  Pillows and throws the same - opposites of what they accented.  Everything was very coordinated.

There were two bathrooms. The hall bath had white floor and fixtures, with the black wall tile, all opposite the hallway outside. The master bath was opposite the other bathroom and the master bedroom, with black floor and fixtures and white wall tile. The floors in both were black and white tile checkerboards.

The kitchen was very interesting! It had a black floor and black ceiling (opposite the adjoining dining room) with white counters, cabinets, back splash and appliances. The small appliances on the counter were a mix of black and white.

The house was meticulously maintained, everywhere. There was very little to report on during the inspection. Any colors in the house, things such as brooms, books, tools, detergent boxes, cleanser bottles, etc, were behind closed doors or inside cabinets. No color met the eye. Anywhere.

The crowning finish was the two car garage! Exactly half was entirely painted white and the other half entirely painted black. There were black cabinets, shelves and pegboard on the white side, with the opposite on the black side. On the black side was parked a white car. The car on the white side was missing.

I am going to bet that car was not blue… but that is just me…

Everyone reading this has seen their share of, um, interesting décor. And quirkiness! Can you top this!?

My recommendation: Different strokes for different folks. Live and let live!

An entire inspection of a foreclosure recently was spent with my buyer client and her "contractor."  I use the quotes around the word contractor intentionally.

Not realizing I speak Spanish, in each room they were discussing the best way to hide this, or cheaply repair that, or cover this or clean the mold off of that.  I listened and understood.

I did my thing, they did theirs.

Please understand -- my thing is to provide the best service I can, no matter what the outcome.

Their thing was something entirely different.

Finally, in the master bathroom, there had been serious leaking through the extremely filty, rickety shower doors.  The water had gotten under the vinyl flooring, staining it purple and causing it to peel upward.  There was similar staining around the tub and toilet.  Typical.  There is only one way to fix it - replace the product and any damaged wood beneath.  They watched me press my weight all along the edge.  Nothing seemed to buckle, so perhaps it isn't terribly rotten.  But who knows what is under that vinyl.

They discussed tacking the vinyl back down with small nails, hiding them with caulking.  She asked my opinion, in English.  Being sure both would understand, I answered in Spanish.  You should have seen their eyes widen!  I said:

"You can do it cheap, or you can do it right."

"That would be much more expensive than fixing and caulking the flooring.  I'd have to replace the flooring, and fix the floor, and remove the toilet, and replace the shower door.  It would cost."

"Yes."

"There is a lot to do here in this house.  I have to watch my pennies."

"Would you want to buy a flipped house from someone who had done substantial repairs, all cheaply?  You have discussed hiding things, covering things up and I for one would not want to buy that.  Have you ever heard of the Golden Rule?"

Long pause.  "The Golden Rule depends on one's budget."  That is a direct quote.  Big smiles from both.

"No.  It doesn't."  Smiles gone.  "Would you fix things this way if your children were going to buy this house?  Of course not!  Why would you do less for someone else?  Why did you hire me?  Because your realtor told you I would do a very good job.  You expect me to do that for you.  Would you have hired someone to do less?"

The conversation ended at that point.  She got it.  She didn't care.  Buy it, flip it, get out of Dodge.

What happens after my inspection really isn't my purview.  But it coooouuuuld be...

Oh, as I was leaving, the "contractor" happily offered me his card.  All smiles!  "You are a very good inspector.  Please refer me to your other clients!" 

"No thanks.  I have a very small group of people I refer.  I have known them all for many years.  My experiences with them have proved to me that they do very careful work, with pride and professionalism.  I care about my clients and would not refer less."  Smiles gone.

My recommendation:  You can do it cheap, or you can do it right.  Do it right!

I have thought a lot about the term “correct principles” since Charles Buell and I had our somewhat tedious exchange on the subject.

You can read it here – http://activerain.com/blogsview/922326/Is-your-belief-a-Bully

And you might as well, no one else did… But I digress.

A very important question Charles asks is, outside of religious contexts, how one goes about “sorting out exactly what constitutes 'correct principles'?"

Our word “principle” comes from the Latin words “principium”, meaning “source,” and “princeps,’ literally meaning “he who takes first place.” We derive many words from those etymological roots. The principal is the source of a loan. The prince is first in line for the throne. And so on. A principle is the foundation, a basis, on which other things are built. Principles are the first considerations.

What, then, are the correct things to take first place, to be considered first, outside of the religious context?

If I am going to build a house, and if I do not employ correct principles and give it a proper and strong foundation, the weight of the house will cause the foundation to crack or sink or move or leak. The house therefore is not founded on correct principles of proper engineering. It might last many years, but other problems will creep in and it will not be as good a house as it could otherwise be. It cannot last.

If I do not provide this house with proper materials and angles and connections which shed or divert or collect or eliminate water, I will have employed an incorrect principle of physics – kinetic force and gravity and fluid dynamics. My house will be destroyed with rot and mold. It cannot last.

If I do not provide this house with properly-sized materials – lumber, plumbing, electrical components, appliances, and so forth – I will have employed incorrect principles and nothing will function as it should. If I do not utilize professional techniques in my construction, it will not only look less attractive, but be poorly done. My house will be uncomfortable, or break under load stresses, or burn, or flood. It cannot last.

If I build a deck or addition and do not use a mathematical technique to make it square (Mr. Pythagoras’s theorem – AA + BB = CC) and do not sink its columns deep enough, it will not be strong, or aesthetic to look at. It cannot last.

What if I try to teach correct principles but not to their fullest. Suppose I try to teach my child to tie his own shoe laces? The correct principles of self sufficiency, self esteem, even mathematics, would be evident would they not? But what if to finish the knot, I teach this child to tie a double-half hitch instead of a bow. Not only would the knot slip, but it would be difficult to untie. A proper bow is a square knot, which is strong enough not to slip easily and can be untied with one pull. I have taught a correct principle, but one not fully applied.

This is what I meant in my last post that if we teach someone correct principles they can govern themselves.

You can tell a correct principle because it lasts!

There can be further secular application.

Having the benevolence to give someone a fish when they are hungry is a correct principle – but not fully applied. What if in addition to the fish, I teach that person how to fish? Then that person can be self governing. It is something that lasts.

But what if, under the guise of benevolence, I give someone money when they need. It is a kind thing to do. But what if there are no strings attached, or no end in sight? What then? Would they not come to expect that money, regularly and on time, and have less of a tendency to go out and learn how to provide their own money? Would they not feel entitled to that money, perhaps generation after generation? Is that a correct principle that lasts?

But what if, under the guise of political benevolence, I create a “community development” plan, or later a “community reinvestment” plan (!) so many people can buy their own houses? And I make it easy to get as much money as it takes to buy the house of someone’s dreams. I have said, “Here, now you can run before you have learned to walk!” These people have not learned correct principles of saving, or having enough income, or budgeting, or making regular long-term installment payments, or being honest in contractual arrangements, or a host of other principles. They are not ready. Is that a correct principle that lasts?

But what if, I make it worse.  What if I force banks to discard their former rules for lending, rules which have been developed over centuries, and bend those rules, to lend without proper income verification or identity, offering below-market (subsidized), or 0%!, interest rates, or even documentation? And what if I create agencies to buy up this bad paper, bundle it, and resell its derivatives as investment-grade securities? And force insurance companies to insure these huge (non)assets? Is that a correct principle that lasts?

But what if, under the guise of political benevolence, I want to do lots and lots of which I think are "good" things, particularly for the “poor” who cannot afford them on their own? But in order to do these "good" things I must impose ever-increasing taxes and fees on the most productive and transfer this money to the unproductive? More and more would likely become unproductive and feel entitled to those “good” things! Eventually the productive would become less productive, having less money or incentive for production, and more people would be taking these taxes than actually pay them. Is that a correct principle that lasts?

I could go on and on and on. So where does the extra mile come in? Under Roman rule, a subject was required by law to carry a soldier’s sword or shield for a Roman mile, or 1,000 paces, upon request. There were severe penalties if one did not comply. Subjects were, essentially, slaves to the Roman authority.

Jesus suggested that when so requested, a subject should carry the load not only one mile, but a second as well. But why would anyone do that?

During the second mile, the legal obligation has already been satisfied. The load can be returned to the Roman authority at any time. In this second mile, who then is master, and who is slave?

This is not a religious concept. It is a foundation. It can be the source of much that follows.

Not all correct principles are religious, but are they not founded in ever-lasting concepts? Religion has to come into play.

Jesus was, and is, all about the correct principle of self mastery. Of governing oneself. Of self discipline (disciple?). Of teaching and learning and applying correct principles because they last. Of learning obedience to these correct principles (He has given many guidelines!). He offers this way because it lasts.

Properly applied, He says they can last forever.

When we see the application of incorrect principles, under the guise of benevolence, or stimulus, or great society, or philosophy, or whatever, the understanding that they are incorrect and cannot last, the belief that they are incorrect and cannot last, and standing up to them, is not bullying.

It is our duty – that is if we want our society to last…

And standing up to them is, in fact, kind and loving.

I love Charles Buell! He invites me to think! I wish to develop some different thinking on his post… and I include some of his words.

Belief against belief – that’s what we call war? Here’s a question! Could that be what caused the war in heaven? Or was it something else?

This is a considerable thought! Could one’s belief bully another’s? Is belief handed down? If beliefs were handed down generation to generation, I would be quite a different person. Values should certainly handed down from parent to child and to the next child so that generations do not have to learn the same lessons over and over. But belief?

I don’t think that belief is learned by being handed down. Belief is something that is learned through practice. With enough practice, belief becomes conviction. When practiced, and then applied, long enough, it becomes something else again.

It is hard to trust someone who does not act with conviction. If one behaves with conviction, and that conviction is founded on correct principles, we can know in advance how this person will act in a given situation. One thing follows the other, and we can trust in that. How can we have faith in inconsistency?

When belief is grounded in correct principles, we can govern ourselves, and our belief that we are on the right path grows. Should this kind of belief butt up against another who’s belief is just as strong but opposite ours, we can rest assured that we are safe because of the correctness of the principle we have learned to apply.

For example, I have a secret weapon in my business. As a home inspector, I am busy. Sure, I have applied tried and true business principles – developing my intellectual capital through education and practice, product diversity and development, cool tools, marketing, and operating in a Golden-Rule fashion. Certainly that has held me up. But is that why I am busy?

I think it has helped. But it is not my secret weapon. I have a silent partner. And I not only believe in him, but believe what he says. I try to listen and apply. What is my secret weapon?

I pay tithing.

Offerings too, but I faithfully pay tithing. And I don’t mean here and there. I mean a true 10% of my income. I have paid a full tithe my entire adult life.

How can you live on 90% of your income you might ask? Very well!

Why do you pay tithing you might further ask? Because I BELIEVE I could not live as well on 100%.

How is that possible? CONVICTION. Conviction born of application. I have tried it.

I read once long ago, in Malachi 3:10, where someone I BELIEVE in challenged me. The challenge was not to pay tithing. The challenge was to “prove [Him] herewith” to see if, by paying tithing, bucket loads of blessings would be poured out -- if I would simply try it.

It is one thing to believe in Him – it is quite another to believe what He says.

I tried it. It works! I tried over and over. It works over and over!

I BELIEVE in the Heavenly Father who makes that promise to me. But here is where the conviction comes in – conviction born of application – I have come to KNOW that I will be blessed.

I BELIEVE this Heavenly Father to be the most powerful Being in the universe. I have come to KNOW that I am one of His children.

So what has happened to my BELIEF? It has grown into CONVICTION to be sure. But it has also grown into much more. It has grown into FAITH.

And this faith has grown as I have applied it in different ways. I have applied many correct principles as I have been allowed the freedom to make choices to govern my life.

AS I APPLY THESE CORRECT PRINCIPLES, I AM FREE TO ACT FOR MYSELF AND NOT BE ACTED UPON.

When I obey the law I am not acted upon by the law. I can act for myself.

When I apply the Golden Rule in business, I am not acted upon by the fear that someone will discover that I have cheated them. And should they discover that they have been cheated, I am not acted upon by them either! And I am free. I could go on…

So, what happens if my belief, my very strong belief, in the commandment of tithing, butts up against someone who has the very strong belief that I am stupid for doing so? Do I sense “inherent danger” in that? Of course not! Do you think for a minute that my years and years of personal application of a principle are going to be dashed by someone else’s belief that I am wrong? NO - I have proved the principle to be correct! How can they prove it to be incorrect?

And again, since that person’s BELIEF is not based in a correct principle, it is that person’s lack of conviction that must be overcome, and a foundation of correct principle built upon, before any CHANGE can come about. But they must be left free to choose.

Is my BELIEF a bully? No, it’s just my BELIEF, one that has been planted and nurtured and expanded and applied and grown into FAITH.

Can this principle be applied to our country’s current financial difficulties? Why yes!!

Can belief against belief cause a war? That depends. It can if one belief is based on incorrect principles. It did in heaven…

Sometimes when I am outside the house with a client we see indicators of what may be a problem once we get inside.  Such was the case on this particular house.

Outside along the rear of the house, a driveway had been added years after the house was constructed.  The bricks at that location were disturbed, sagging, the mortar had been patched, apparently more than once, and water was pooling next to the foundation. 

Once we got inside, and after moving some artfully arranged (hiding a problem?) boxes, this is what I found!

Yes, that is poly-foam!  And only a portion of it really.  At least they used maximum expansion, apparently for needed strength!  And I have to also say, it appeared waterproof!

I might share one other teensy item on that house.  A gas dryer had been installed in the closet under the basement stairs.  Nothing unusual about that.

Well, except that the plug servicing the electrial needs for the dryer was plugged into the sump pump outlet.

And the sump pump was not.

And the outlet wasn't grounded.

And the elaborate venting which was made to look like it vented outside sort of stopped at the wall.  It never did really make it outside.  Oh, there was a covered dryer vent outside, but no hole in the wall.

And the elaborate venting was only to make someone think it actually vented outside.  It really vented under the stairs.

And the drum would turn when the knob was put in the proper position, but of course there was no hot air generated.  See reason later...

And when you did turn it on the light in the closet flickered dramatically.

And it would only run for two minutes and then stop until turned on again.

And then it would only run for two minutes.

And then stop until turned on again.

And you had to crawl over the dryer to get to the sump pump.

And the water heater.

And there was a very nice three-hole electric outlet provided for the dryer (unused since it was gas), which cable didn't actually make it to the panel box.

And the reason the dryer did not get hot was, oh yeah, because THERE WAS NO GAS SERVICE TO THE HOUSE...!

Now, that was just the dryer. You wouldn't believe there was more, would you?  There was more... like, I mean, you know, um, like, dude, yeah, a lot more...

Writing this report would be like writing a report describing a mansion in hell.

I don't charge enough...

I have heard that in order to eat an elephant you must break it into smaller pieces and go at it a piece at a time.  Well, this report would need to be broken up into smaller pieces.

Looking at my flow chart, I am scheduled to be done eating this elephant about March 10.  See you then...!

TTFN