What I'm Seeing Now

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My Funniest Inspection... Well For Me, NOT The Realtor

This goes back to 1989 or 1990 or so.  I was finishing up an inspection on a very nice house.  The inspection went very well.  As we were walking out of the front door, my client, an elderly and exceptionally polite Asian gentleman, asked me if I had a compass handy.  "Sure!"  As I am always somehow Boy Scout connected I am prepared!  I actually have two.  So I dug one out of my tool kit.

"What way house point?"

"Northeast."

"Oh no!  Cannot buy house!  Cannot buy house!"

The realtor's jaw dropped!  I did not understand either.

"Bad Feng Shui!  The house, bad Feng Shui!"

I had never before heard of Feng Shui!  I had heard of, and often enjoyed, Chow Fun, but not this other thing!

Neither had the realtor...  She stood right in front of him, looked directly into his eyes, and politely asked what in the world he was talking about.  He had a hard time explaining in English.  It went something like:

"This much bad luck!  Very, very much bad luck!"  He was pointing toward the way the house was facing.  "It small.  It not strong."

He was making no sense.  Neither of us understood.  And should we have?  She shot me a wicked glance that said, "Look what you've done!"  Gee, all I did was answer a question.  How could I know it all meant the house pointed away from Marriage and Romantic Happiness, had a vanilla color and was Small Earth?  My brother's name is Ken -- doesn't that count for something?

I now understand that Feng Shui has a fascination to some people.  It is basically folkloric and mythical.  But there are those who follow that sort of thing.  I know interior designers who follow it in case their clients have such inclination.  Certain "bad" things can be counteracted by the placement of plants and mirrors and and furniture and so forth.  But it is complicated and doesn't assure a good outcome.  Even the direction the head faces while lying in bed can be significant.  So even a house that faces what you want may not be the right house depending on the interior architectural design!  The elderly client either did not consider the direction before making an offer on the house, or did not understand that so many things would happen, involving so many people, tying up the house for many weeks, and cost so many people so much money, him included.

Long story short, he canned the deal.  The Realtor canned him as a client.  She also canned me I think because I have not heard from her since.  The word got out though.  Even to this day, there are Realtors who put the direction of the house on their listing information.  And not just the Asian Realtors!  I have had the direction question many times since, but never resulting in that outcome. 

My recommendation:  It seems to me that if Feng Shui is that important to you as a buyer, you should have a compass in your pocket so when you pull up to the house the deal could be canned at THAT point!  But since they might not always have one handy, YOU as a Realtor should have one too.  My house faces due north.  How about you?

GOT COMPASS?

 

18 commentsJay Markanich • April 01 2009 09:01AM

A Loud And Fiery Death

I got an interesting email tonight.  It was from a client I visited on Saturday. 

The Saturday visit was to help him out.  He is a renter and there is water damage to the parquet flooring inside the front door.  It only happens sometimes.  His landlord accused him of leaving the door open during a long rain storm.  Well, it's a theory, but not a great one. He couldn't figure out why the water was coming in, but knew he didn't leave the door open when it rains.

Nonetheless, my client was gong to be charged for damaging the floor.  The landlord had to blame somebody after all.

My inspection was an IR (thermal infrared imaging) inspection.  He wanted to see where the water was coming from, albeit sporadically.  It wasn't too hard.  It rained the night before and into the morning of my 1pm inspection.  It wasn't hard to see, and demonstrate with definitive images, that the water comes in through

  • a rotten front door surround, seeping water all the way to the interior,
  • a stoop that is settling and angling toward the house,
  • a 28 year old front door metal threshold which long ago lost its caulking, allowing water to get inside from underneath,
  • and a rotting sub floor visible from the basement.  

The last one you really didn't need an IR camera to see, but it sure was a pretty purple on the report! 

Why did it happen sporadically?  The house faces northeast (bad feng shui).  Every time we get a nor'easter the water fairly pours in through the rotting surround, and under the threshold, soaking the sub floor and eventually wicking upward and into the parquet.  The real reason?  Poor landlord maintenance, pure and simple.  Even a towel on the inside of the door during a rain would not have stopped the water as it was soaking up from underneath.  It was certainly nothing they had done wrong.  They didn't seem the type to leave the door open during the rain anyway.  Well, who is?

Easy peasy...

But that's not the point of this post!

During my inspection I noticed that both the tenants are in the habit of smoking on the front porch.  I also noticed a serious gas odor from the meter, about 4 feet away.  I wasn't there to examine the gas meter.

BUT --

After my findings, in the kitchen, I said to them, "Have you noticed the gas odor from the meter by the front door?"  "Sure."  "And yet you smoke there?"  "Sure."  "Do you know that the leak may get worse?  In fact, it will get worse.  That puts you in increasing danger.  You should call the gas company."

Tenant - "OK.  I'll call them sometime this week."

Me again - "CALL NOW!"

I got an interesting email tonight.  It was from a client I visited on Saturday.

It said, after thanking me for the report and absolving him of floor-damage responsibility, "The gas company showed up not long after you left.  (Note:  they came quick...!)  They said they found a screw that was loose and might pop out from gas pressure at any time.  They said this had been happening for some time and asked why we were just getting around to calling them now.  I told them our home inspector told us to call them right away.  They said we should give you a big kiss because you saved us from a 'loud and fiery death!'"

Aw, shucks.  It's just another service I offer... 

My recommendation:  When you smell gas, call the gas company right away.  And give us a little kiss... okay, a big kiss.

 

14 commentsJay Markanich • March 29 2009 07:05PM

A Rose By Any Other Name May Not Smell As Sweet

You have probably heard by now that our government, in all its infinite wisdom, has decided to stop purchasing condoms from its long-time supplier in Alabama.  The United States government is the largest purchaser of condoms in the world.  And it should be.  It needs a large and ready supply for its biggest customers - those who attend government schools!  It is a wise, caring and watchful government that takes care of its constituents, of all ages, and, soon, at nearly all levels of education!

And, at the expense of American jobs, from whom will this wise, caring, and watchful government be purchasing its annual 500 million condoms?

CHINA !!

BEAM ME UP, SCOTTIE!!

Yes, that wonderful trading "partner" who now provides breakables that didn't used to be, mercury and lead where they should not be, e-coli where we don't want it to be, hydrogen sulfide gas where we didn't think it ever would be, computer worms and viruses in games we would not imagine they could be, well, this is fun and I could go on...

BUT ...

Are you sure you want the Chinese producing something we really don't want to fail?  Are you sure...!!!

When I was a kid, the term "Made in Japan" had all kinds of jokes associated with it.  Well, this trading "partner" is no joke.  Why is our omniscient government doing this?  The "old" rules, by the "old" government, used to stipulate "American Made" for government-purchased things.  The stimulus bill (I know, I know, but that one would be too easy...) does not stipulate such!  And, and this is a big and, Alabaman condoms cost 5 cents apiece.  The Chinese condoms only cost 2 cents!  Imagine the savings to us, the American taxpayer!

Our vernacular will change:

"Chinese take out" with a new meaning will replace "Chinese take out" with the old meaning.  Chinese restaurants will have to change their signs for fear of advertising the wrong thing.

"Practicing safe Chinese" will be the new government oxy-moron.

The medicine cabinet will be the new China town.

"All the tea in China" will be replaced by "All the C in China."

The game Chinese Checkers will frighten tweens.

Chinese junk will no longer refer to a boat.

Chinese lantern will no longer refer to a collapsible, paper lamp!

The Chinese will not want everything they make to be stamped "Made in China."

Imagine all the Great Walls of China that will be constructed when the failure-rate statistics for these babies get out!

And the phrase, "Hey, honey, feel like some Chinese tonight?" will become its own, cute, new little expression.

My recommendation:  Don't be oxy-moronic!  PRACTICE SAFE CHINESE!  Just say no...

9 commentsJay Markanich • March 24 2009 08:28PM

Update - Chinese Drywall - The Lawyers Have Landed

Well, you knew this was coming.  The Chinese drywall problem is worsening.  As it does, people will be looking for more and more remedies.

http://www.walletpop.com/blog/2009/03/18/the-lawyers-have-landed-in-the-uproar-over-chinese-drywall/

In addition to the plumbing, electrical and air conditioner problems, people are now reporting damage to televisions, computers, microwaves, refrigerators, various electrical appliances, jewelry, door stops - this list will grow with time.  This problem will grow with time.  We import Chinese stuff all the time.  Our relationship has grown with time.  It is time we stop to rethink this trade relationship.

Do you think importers are going to wise up?  Think carefully...

And you knew this was going to happen - one if by land, two if by sea.  A big Washington D.C. law firm has gotten involved.  "We know for a fact that this product is in Virginia, Louisiana and California," says Charles LaDuca, of Washington, D.C.-based law firm Cuneo Gilbert & LaDuca. "The breadth of the problem is just unfolding."

I'll bet...

The main builder involved, Lennar, says it is a victim just like the homeowners.  It blames Knauf Gips of Germany and its Chinese affiliate, Knauf Plasterboard of Tianjin, the drywall manufacturer.  Lennar also blames the subcontractors.  I'm not sure how the subs would have known better, but when a finger can get pointed, it usually is.  The subs, in turn, blame the builder for its specifications.  I don't know who Knauf is blaming, but eventually it will blame somebody. 

Who to blame?  This is not accidental.  Think carefully...

Caveat emptor!  Take the hint - it is a Chinese product!!

My recommendation:  Before you buy anything, anything!, look at where it was manufactured.  And think carefully...

 

16 commentsJay Markanich • March 21 2009 08:14AM

Do You See What A.C.??

At first glance you may not notice everything this photo has to offer.  Most people would focus on the AC unit in the window, um, hole in the wall.  It is a long story, as it should be -- after all, it was a very long home inspection.

The "structure" on the right is one of three (very) illegal additions to this house.  It was build directly onto a thin slab poured onto the back yard.  The slab was very cracked, so its foundation may not have been the best.  It is also sinking.  It would not have supported patio furniture, much less a two-story addition!

You can tell that this addition has bee here a while by the double layer of shingles.  I don't think the shingles were very old though.  The huge amount of caulking all along the edge at the top seemed pretty fresh. 

The roof rafters were merely nailed to the original house and run directly from their attachment almost 17' to the rear wall of the addition.  They are only 2"x6" rafters, though, and sag greatly in the middle. 

The soffit vents don't really ventilate the roof space. They are only on one side. There are none on the other side or the ends of the roof. And nothing to vent air upward and out.

Apparently this sagging caused the original drywall to crack and fall off, so it was replaced with more flexible Masonite sheets.  Looking through gaps in those sheets it is obvious that there is no insulation up there.  The lack of insulation and ventilation will cook roof shingles.  Well, another shingle layer solved that problem!

This, and the two other additions, were to convert this formerly three bedroom, two-level house into two separate apartments which now feature -- count 'em -- 14 bedrooms!  They simply removed the stair case and, presto, chango, two separate apartments!  With  two "complete" kitchens too!  There weren't three "kitchens" because one addition is really only a small garden shed, kind of attached to the house.  They kind of attached it so a (2'x3') hole (trap door) could be cut from it into the main structure.  This gives the third "addition" two doors - house access and a private one to the outdoors!  That "addition" was rented separately, you should know.  I could offer another blog just on its features...

But, back to the photo above!  Other things you may not have noticed:

  • Water had been getting in where the new roof attaches to the original one, so they covered it with a piece of sheet metal.  The end facing you is drywall.
  • There isn't much incline on that roof, so it continues to leak, kind of all over, despite two fine layers of shingles.
  • The shingles were installed by a 9 year old, I think, give or take two years.
  • The gutter inclines toward the right of the picture, not to the left.  You might think that is not so good, except to the left there is no downspout so it couldn't drain that way anyway.  Yes, it is wearing out that wall, and leaking inside too, but paint every 10 years or so will solve that.
  • Primer, we don't need no stinkin' primer...
  • It is hard to see, but the addition is not only sinking.  It is racking to the right.  That A.C. unit is not really resting any longer on the convenient 2x4 support nailed into the wall.
  • Yes, it's leaking into the room also.
  • Since the hole is somewhat larger than the A.C. unit, the wall is carefully sealed, as you can see.  The gaps on the inside are filled with Styrofoam and twisted paper towels.
  • Since the original AC compressor no longer services the upper apartment, each room has a similar window, I mean, wall unit to the one you see here!  And just as cleverly installed.
  • That's probably fine since the windows have been painted so many times over the years that they don't open any more anyway.
  • The window, I mean wall, I mean hole A.C. unit you see here plugs into a two-prong wall outlet.  It has a three-prong plug, so they cut that pesky grounding prong off so that rascal could plug in!  It's probably okay though because it plugs into what I think was the old refrigerator outlet, so maybe the outlet was wired for an appliance anyway.  And electrical tape holds that baby solidly onto the wall too! 
  • Where the fridge used to be is a "laundry room" now, so adding an A.C. unit can't hurt much.  The "kitchen" is elsewhere anyway.

Okay, a lot of this was said tongue in cheek.  But it's all true!  You have to understand, I see this kind of stuff almost every day.  This house is very typical of so many foreclosures I am called to inspect.   This post could be 300 pages long with other photos from this house.  I chose this photo because a picture is worth so much!  And I haven't even discussed the electrical, plumbing, structural, HVAC, fire code, roof, mold, or appliance issues!  My client pulled a Monte Python and "ran awaaay, ran awaaay!"

Fortunately for me she didn't ask for a report.  I would still be working on it!

My recommendation:   When you buy a foreclosure, get an inspection...

9 commentsJay Markanich • March 18 2009 05:22AM

Sometimes A Trial Separation Doesn't Work

Sometimes after a period of being together, a separation happens.  Often it is not the fault of either party.  I had three different houses last week with a no-fault separation, and thought it might be time for a post.

The couple on the right has been at least near each other for 10 years.  At one time they were happily married, but pressures and tensions finally got the best of the relationship, and they were forced to separate.  The gap you see between the large conduit under the meter box and the box itself opened up some time after the construction of the house.

Seldom is soil around a house sufficiently compacted.  Things settle.  Often the soil settles 6, 8, 10, or 12 inches!  In this case the soil must have settled about 8 inches, judging from the distance between it and the foundation paint.

As it settled it put pressure on the underground conduit protecting the service conductors.  Eventually the pressure became too great for the connection under the meter -- you can see that it completely snapped off, and is still probably slowly pulling apart.  You can also see that the caulking has been affected.

This will eventually become a problem.  In this case it was a problem.  The three large cables between the conduit and box are the electrical service conductors.  They are carrying the electrical load to the house.  The house was intended to use 200amps for its needs.

When a conduit like this opens up the gap can admit water.  In this case it has, apparently for some time.

Inside the house, half the house registered about 40 volts!  The other half registered almost 160!  An acceptable voltage range would be in the neighborhood of 108 - 130.  Exactly 120 volts is ideal and happens when the neutral line properly divides the 240 volts of power to the house in half.  Looseness in (or damage to) the neutral service conductor can cause wild fluctuations in voltage.  Anything different than that can cause many problems.  Appliances and fixtures don't want too much or too little voltage - motors can literally burn up and light bulbs will burn out. 

The conductors are aluminum.  If even the smallest hole in the conductor's insulation exists and the aluminum is exposed to water, over time that aluminum will react and literally powderize.  Eventually one or the other of these conductors will completely dissolve and service to the house will terminate.  It is not a cheap fix when this happens.                                                                                                            

There is another issue.  The settlement also affected the electric meter box.  It too settled, though its movement stopped when the conduit separated.

This is aluminum siding and you can see that underneath there is no plastic wrap.  The wood sheathing is exposed to moisture intrusion.  Just as water does not mix with electrical, it does not mix with wood either, especially when the wood cannot dry out afterward.

The living room wall and floor molding demonstrated staining exactly under where this box connects to the house.  And we know where the water came from.

What's the solution to this problem?  During construction some builders, those with good foresight, will create a slip joint where the conduit under the meter box is larger than the one bringing the service conductors to the house.  The joint leaves plenty of room for settlement.  When this is done, the soil can settle as much as it wants and the conductors are never exposed to water.  Admittedly, 10 years ago such slip joints were not common.  But I still see this problem on newer homes, unfortunately.  Sometimes common sense and history do not get the message through...

My recommendation:  go out and look at the connection under your electric meter.  If there is no slip joint, you could be facing a problem sometime soon.  It is MUCH easier to handle this proactively before it happens than after.

 

9 commentsJay Markanich • March 09 2009 08:05AM

Do You Want A Home Inspector Or An Engineer?

I had a call from a prospective client.  She needed a home inspection.  Her first question was, "Are you an engineer?"

What can I say?  "No, I am not.  Do you think the house needs to be seen by an engineer or a home inspector?"

She didn't know.  "All I know is my boss told me to get a home inspector who is an engineer."

"I am sorry, I don't know any I can refer you to.  I know a lot of engineers and work with a few.  And I know a lot of home inspectors.  But I do not know anyone who is certified as both.  You probably only need an engineer if there are specific structural or soil issues that need examination.  Is that what you need?  I can refer to you engineers for that purpose, but they don't do home inspections.  In fact, one engineer I have known for over 10 years called me to do two inspections on his new home - a pre-drywall structural and a final walk through."

"What does a home inspector do that an engineer does not?"  Now, there's a good question!

"As a certified home inspector, I am trained and have long experience in the construction industry.  In addition to structure, I also evaluate the exterior, roof, all the indoor systems, ventilation, appliances - well, many things.  You should think of a house as you would a living organism - there are many systems that all work together to create a healthy house.  Sometimes those systems or parts need repairs or replacement,  But they certainly need a complete evaluation from time to time.  That is where I come in.  I give you as complete a snap shot as I can of the condition of the home on the day we look at it.  Then I give you a thorough report that describes my findings."

"Don't engineers do that?"

"Not unless they are certified as home inspectors."

"Well," she repeated, "all I know is my boss told me to get a home inspector who is an engineer.  I guess I need to keep checking around."  She did not call back.  Maybe she found what she was looking for.  Likely she found an engineer who said he does home inspections too.  But he is probably not a home inspector ... and she will probably never know the difference.

People don't know what they don't know.

The engineer acquaintance I referred to above called me do perform a pre-drywall analysis on his new home.  I was surprised to hear from him!  "What do you need me for?  You know more about structure than I do!"

His answer was very smart and very circumspect.  "Four eyes are better than two.  And I know you have a good eye.  Plus, you look at other things too."  And guess what?  I found some things, structural and otherwise, that he had not seen, agreed with and wanted corrected.  That's how it works.

So, do you want a home inspector or an engineer?  Personally, I don't know!  Which do need?

My recommendation:   A structural engineer is likely not a trained home inspector and few home inspectors are trained as engineers.  Neither is likely to do a report that would satisfy the other's criteria during an evaluation.  So, hire what you need!  But when you need a structural engineer, don't call a home inspector.  Engineers are great at what they do.  And, when you need a home inspector, you are likely to be disappointed by an engineer's point of view.

21 commentsJay Markanich • March 04 2009 09:17AM

Early Rising - How Would You Like An Extra Month Every Year?

I am an early riser.  And always have been!  Most people are shocked by how early - I am usually up by 3am, though I sometimes sleep in until 4 or so.  The morning is my favorite time of day.  It is my quiet time.  I can think.  I can plan.  And I can do so unfettered by phones and interruptions.  I can get a lot done.

One of my pastimes is collecting antique books.  I love reading them, learning how people used to think and write.  One thing I have discovered is that people 100 or 150 years ago were very similar in so many ways to how we are now.  There are huge differences, to be sure.  But many similarities!

One of my favorite people is Robert Baden-Powell.  You may recognize him as the founder of the Boy Scouts.  I have been affiliated with the Boy Scouts, in one way or another, for 47 years.  It is a terrific program for young men.  I have a book entitled Scouting for Boys.  It is the original 1908 edition.  This is the book that preceded the first Boy Scout Handbook in 1911 (I have one of those too...).  These books are full, full, full of information.  And information that you and I can use.  Scouting for Boys is terrific.

Here is an entry on page 226 I thought to share with you...

"Early Rising - The scout's time for being most active is in the early morning.  A scout needs to train himself to the habit of getting up very early; and when once he is in the habit it is no trouble at all to him, like it is to some fat fellows who lie asleep after the daylight has come.

The Emperor Charlemagne, who was a great scout in the old days, used always to get up in the middle of the night.  The Duke of Wellington, who, like Napoleon Bonaparte, preferred to sleep on a little camp bed, used to say, 'When it is time to turn over in bed, it is time to turn out.'

Many men who manage to get through more work than others in a day, do so by getting up an hour or two earlier.  By getting up early you also can get more time for play.

If you get up one hour earlier than other people you get thirty hours a month more of life than they do; while they have twelve months in the year, you get 365 extra hours, or thirty more days -- that is thirteen months to their twelve!"

Robert Baden-Powell wanted a Scout Motto that was short and to the point.  It is said he thought up one that shared his initials -- Be Prepared

My recommendation:   Thomas Jefferson said that the sun never caught him still laying in bed.  So, don't be a "fat fellow" - before the sun turns up, turn out of bed!  There is much to be said for "early to bed, early to rise."  Little things can make big differences!

28 commentsJay Markanich • February 28 2009 07:00AM

Is An Outhouse Illegal? What About An Inhouse?

It's been a long time - are outhouse laws still on the books?

There are Port O' Potties everywhere, albeit temporary.  I have seen them in people's yards.  Hopefully they are there for a short-term reason.  But I don't know about outhouses. 

Do sellers try to hide things?  Interesting construction, booby traps they set for inspectors, illegal installations?  Yes!  Yes they do!  Well, some do.  This is something I ran across well over a decade ago, but thought you might find it, shall we say, unusual!

This was a ranch house, with a full basement.  There was an unfinished side, with the furnace, laundry, electrical panel and main plumbing stack.  And there was a finished side, with what the listing stated to be a newly installed in-law suite, complete with a full bath.  It looked very nice.

We tested the bathroom - everything was fine.  Well appointed, good water pressure, properly-installed plumbing, vent fan, very nice.  I wondered about the permit - I did not see one and mentioned it to the buyers.  Hint:  if you don't see a permit sticker, your buyers should always ask to see one.  I was bothered though by two things:

1.  The main drain stack was in the furnace room.  I saw no evidence that a drain from the bathroom had ever been connected.  And the bathroom was a good 30 feet away.

2.  There was an odor in the basement.  It was faint, but present.  The house had been shut up for a while, could that have been it?

We continued into the in-law suite.  It was fine, although there was no fire escape.  Selling it as an "in-law suite" would have been incorrect.  It was not, but a fine room nonetheless.  However, it did have a somewhat large closet, exactly the width of the bathroom beside.  When I opened the closet door the odor was much stronger.

There was no access panel to the shower plumbing.  What caused the odor?  Kneeling by the wall, my knee felt a slight squishy deflection.  Concrete slabs are not squishy.  I did something I don't usually do - I gently pulled up the carpet.  What I saw was a piece of plexi-glass laying over a hole, almost 3 feet in diameter, that had obviously been carved out with a sledge hammer.  I couldn't see under it, so with a screw driver I pried it up.

I was looking into the gaping jaws of the pits of hell!  We found the source of the odor!  The soil underneath the bathroom had nearly been completely removed, and to a depth of 4 or 5 feet!  The plumbing from all three fixtures was depositing its contributions into that pit!  The buyer said, "It's an outhouse!"  I couldn't help myself - jokes for this thing could go in a dozen different directions.  I said, "No.  Technically it's an inhouse." 

Levity is good to lessen loads, loosen tight situations, and clear the air, so to speak.  There were jokes originating inside that were simply bursting to get out.  One did, "Gee, is this going to CAN the deal?"

"It's an outlaw, in-law, inhouse outhouse!"  Then another:

"They could have provided a bucket of lime and called it a powder room."  And another:

Quoting Poor Richard, I said, "Franklin said that fish and guests begin to stink after three days."  Yep, another:

"This lends a whole new meaning to the term 'water closet'!"  Some people don't know when to quit...  the buyers loved it though!

We didn't even look at the upper level!  Thus terminateth the inspection.  The deal had been CANNED. 

A while later, we did another inspection.  Just seeing each other in the driveway we all laughed!

My recommendation:  When you smell a basement odor, check there first.  You may run across a John without a last name...

 

25 commentsJay Markanich • February 23 2009 07:11AM

These Stamps Aren't Made For Mailing

It was a lovely home, very large, bricked, huge hip roof with a gabled window on each side, and beautiful, newly-installed cedar shakes.  Gorgeous!  Outside and then inside.  And for $1.5 mil it should be!

My client and I had a good time.  There was little to speak about really - for a new home I was pleasantly surprised.  The supervisor beamed.  He had done a good job.  My client was impressed and very happy.

It was time for the attic.  The pull-down stairs made it easy as the ceilings were 10' high.  There was lots to see in the attic - insulation, ventilation, quality of the truss structure, the two HVAC units.  I climbed up, turned on the light and waited for my client and the supervisor.  He had started tagging along when I complimented him on the house.

Then I saw it.  My flashlight came across something I had never seen before in an attic.

It was a stamp.  Not a philatelic stamp.  These stamps aren't made for mailing.  It was a stamp placed on the wood sheathing by the manufacturer.  It read:

"This side should be installed up."

Now for me, that was a big Uh-oh!  I shined my light elsewhere.  More of the same.  A lot more of the same!    The stamps were everywhere!

Can you say, "Holy Moly Kingfish!"??

I pointed it out to my client.  I pointed it out to the supervisor.

That's why I was there, you should know.

My client looked puzzled.  The supervisor suddenly stopped beaming.

That's when the supervisor blew it.  He said, "Oh, those stamps don't mean anything..."

Given the seriousness of the moment, you should be proud to know I actually suppressed what could have been one really loud, long, bellowing, right-from-the-bottom-of-the-gut laugh.

My client is not a stupid man.  He was buying a house for $1.5 million!  He said, and you have to appreciate the logic here, "Then why are they on there?  Are there stamps on the other side that say, 'This side should be installed down'?"

No answer.  So I filled the void, "Yes."

That's why I was there, you should know.

As I looked at the supervisor, his eyes immediately diverted to his feet.  I think he was mad.  But mad at what?  Me?  My find?  That he was caught?  That I discovered something he didn't know about?  He has been on site for 120, 130 days or more.  I was there a couple of hours, a long morning really.  He didn't know?  Really?

I have to imagine that removing all those shakes, and sheathing, and not damaging any of those many trusses, then re-sheathing, re-tar papering and re-shingling (cutting and fitting all those shakes ... again), all the while not damaging or letting the weather damage anything inside, well, I have to imagine that it was quite an expensive fix. 

I have to imagine that my client was happy ... again.

That's why I was there, you should know.

My recommendation:  When you hire roofers, hire the ones who speak English, or can read.  If it was your house, which would you prefer?

20 commentsJay Markanich • February 18 2009 07:31PM